December 4, 2002

“Yo La Tengo!” is

Filed under: Archives — mhoye @ 12:00 pm

“Yo La Tengo!” is going to be the name of our team. E-mail
suggests that they’re going to be looking to me for guidance which,
considering that I thought “Yo La Tengo” might mean “You over there:
Dance!” when in fact it means “I Have It” in Mexican or American
Latin or something, cannot possibly bode well.

One exam tomorrow afternoon, one Friday night. Arlene will be in
town for the weekend, and I am going to use the long break I’ve
got between Friday night and my next exams being as indulgent as
possible, which could be challenging. I struggle to find ways to be
indulgent with somebody who does not need or want much in the way of
things material. I am the first to realize that happiness does not
come from material goods, whatever the shiny-rock monopolists at DeBeers tell you,
but the step beyond that continues to escape me.

EXERCISE: Examine a number of Hollywood
weddings. Compare the size of the ring in carats to (a) the dollar
figures in the prenuptual agreement in millions and (b) the length
of the wedding in months. Which conclusion do you reach?

  • Pre-nups are a spoiled brat’s best friend.
  • Moral fibre doesn’t come from wheatgrass.
  • Divorce attorneys are on and/or up to something.
  • Money can’t buy me love.

(With apologies to
Guy Kawasaki.)

Just “doing nice things” sounds like a good idea but for
somebody this important it seems like, to put it mildly, sub-par
compensation. It’s an expected behaviour, at the very least. “Just
being myself” around her not only seems wildly inadequate as well,
but might actually be a bad move given that some people actually
think “Mike’s Just Being Himself” is going to be a chapter in the
next Worst Case Scenario Survival Guide. So that might be right
out too; God knows it makes Mehmet nervous.

“You’re at a party, and Mike’s just Being Himself. Do
you (a) hit him, (b) hit him, (c) A and B, or (d) yell at people
in the street to find a bedsheet so you can jump out the window to
safety? Turn the page to find out!”

I wonder if some monastic order somewhere has figured out some
way to express sentiments for which words are inadequate. Do
they use special, secret words? Better, perhaps latin-er
words? Entirely new, never-previously-used words? I’ll take
it, whatever it is. I’d prefer something that doesn’t involve
flagellating onesself, of course, but if that’s all they can come up
with I’ll take two and figure out of the whipping is tax-deductible
later. Hell, throw in the Robe, Rope and Bald Spot Package Deal
along with it; I’ll be all Om all the time.

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