July 16, 2003

Apropos Of Nothing.

Filed under: Archives — mhoye @ 12:00 pm

This is just a brief note to the owner of the white Buick Grand Marquis,
or perhaps some similarly-named late model, twelve-cylinder sedan, that
decided to add some excitement to my day. I realize I don’t usually look
like I’m having the most exciting day of my life. I might look like I
need some livening up – that can happen. Usually, though, I like to get
that extra bit of pep in my step from a coffee or three; definitely not
from having to leap bodily out of the way of your careening vehicle. I
understand you were only trying to cheer me up, I really do, but when
I see things like a 50 kph limit, flashing crosswalk lights and a big,
red triangular Yield sign, with the note below it in both official
languages that says “yield to pedestrians”, I usually take those things
at face value. If I’m scowling, it’s probably because I’m thinking hard
about something, not because I’m unhappy. And even when I am unhappy,
I don’t think that the words “Boy, you know what would cheer me up right
now? If I got smeared all over this three-lane thoroughfare by a sturdy
American-built sedan” have ever really crossed my mind. I know it’s hard
to get a clear view of things like that through the space between the
dashboard and the wheel, so for next time, this is just so you know.

Basically, while I’m sure you meant well I’d appreciate it if in the
future, at those times you see me crossing at a clearly marked crosswalk,
you could simply to move your foot off the gas, perhaps to apply it to
the brake, and to let me finish my humble traverse in peace. You know,
rather than trying to kill me with the grill of your fucking medicare


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