July 20, 2003

Little Fish Versus Big Hook

Filed under: Archives — mhoye @ 12:00 pm

I decided to take a spur-of-the-moment trip to Kingston this weekend,
and thought Doctor Arlene was on call for most of it, she had enough
spare time to describe my nose as “gigantuan”.

“What word am I thinking of?”
“Gigantic? Gargantuan, possibly?”
“Maybe I’m trying to use both of those words at the same

After five years of intense training in the Strained Facial
Expressions that this kind of conversation produces, I could probably
bend a penny with my eyebrows.

My spirits have been improved immensely, however, because a brief
but much more serious discussion on the sensitive topic of What
The Hell Was That All About has been safely brought to earth in
Still-Together-Ville. I’d have thought that the fact that you shouldn’t
ever do this to somebody you care about would be about as plain as the
nose on your face, but apparently my measuring stick in nose-on-your-face
matters is Not To Scale, so you be the judge. Let me share with you a
clever little stunt you can pull on your significant other when they’re
expressing some kind of affection for you, particularly if it’s of
the “undying” variety; ask them right at that moment exactly how they
“know for sure”.

If you could muster a really sad voice when you did that, believe me,
that makes the whole thing work even better.

Now, I’m not the most attentive guy in the world, but wow, that
sure looked like a dead canary in a long-distance-relationship coal mine
to me. So if you’re looking for a way to make sure your significant
other is going to be staring at ceiling tiles at four in the morning,
that would be it. Thankfully all’s well that ends well, was just sad,
didn’t mean it, miscommunication, though I did have to roll out the
Stern Voice for a few minutes of don’t-ever-do-that-again.

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