September 26, 2003

Lurch Lurch Revolution

Filed under: Archives — mhoye @ 12:00 pm

I saw Underworld
last weekend, and it was good, light stylized fun. I think I liked it
a fair bit more than most of my co-viewers, but when it gets right down
to it none of them keep weblogs, so who cares what they think?

It was more than a little uneven, to be fair. In places, it was obvious
that they periodically thought “we have to explain some stuff here”,
so every now and then they hauled in some lieutenant-grade bad guy,
put a gun to his head and made him explain some things before they went
back to the running and shooting. But, hey, the running and shooting
was great. Nothing groundbreaking, for sure, but a good nutritious
mix of Wachowski and Woo, wholesome and crunchy. There were seamless,
non-trite special effects, a surprisingly intricate backstory, some
people you expected to make it to the last scene who didn’t, and it
certainly had enough gothy hotness to make me happy. If gun-toting,
ass-kicking, vinyl-coated, leather-wrapped hotness is wrong, then I
don’t want to be right.

One thing about it that I didn’t realize until after the movie ended
was how unintrusive the music was – not a lot of soaring violins at
dramatic moments, suspenseful music when the Bad Guy was Right Behind
Them, that sort of thing. It’s been a while since I’ve seen that kind
of restraint, and in the midst of all kinds of other over-the-topness,
it was nicely left out.

It could be that I enjoyed it more than my compatriots because I
made an effort to get into a good techno-goth mood ahead of time. Dance Dance Revolution, and
“House of the Dead 2”, a Sega light-gun shooter, were right next to
each other in the arcade, so while we were waiting I decided to play
them both at the same time. I ended up getting killed by the zombies
pretty quickly, shooting a few civilians and a lot of landscape in the
process, but I ended up doing pretty well at DDR, thoroughly amusing
my friends in the process. A shaved head, black clothes and work
boots are apparently not standard DDR-wear, but that’s life; the machine
I really wanted
wasn’t available.

I’ve developed a life rule about this that I think you
should all take to heart in the event you are ever given a fifty-calibre
hand-cannon and sent out to dispatch the armies of the shambling undead:
trying to shoot zombies while jumping around like a cranked-up Japanese
schoolgirl is not a high-percentage survival tactic.

Seriously, write that one down. You might not need to know that today
or tomorrow, but when you do, boy are you ever going to thank me.

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