October 31, 2003

Brought To You By The Number Eleven

Filed under: digital — mhoye @ 3:41 pm

I’d like to make one very straightforward and simple point, if I may. First, examine this:

FILE* f = fopen("/usr/src/409/final_world_data.txt", "+w");

Then, I would like to point that the surrounding text is full of asterisks and ampersands and structs and stuff, or at least it was earlier today. Now, it
is surrounded by all of those things and a king’s ransom worth of #ifdefs, and I don’t think I need to tell you what the #ifdef exchange rate looks like right now. Now, can you tell the difference between that line and this line?

FILE* f = fopen("/usr/src/409/final_world_data.txt", "w+");

I know you can. And if you are a programmer, and if your brain is larger than a peanut, you probably know why that small difference is important.

The point I wish to make is this: programming is very, very hard, if you are stupid.

October 30, 2003

Dear Internet Pharmacies.

Filed under: analog — mhoye @ 1:52 am

I appreciate your efforts to sell me your wondrous variety of drugs that start with V, including viagra, vicodin and valium, and I am eager to take advantage of the tremendous opportunities to save that you have offered. However, I am a busy man; I do not have time to enjoy each of these options on their own every day. Ideally, I would like to take advantage of all of these fine medicines at the same time, and from a single pill. Like most of your clients, I’m just a regular hard-working guy, looking for a pill that gives me an enormous hard-on that I can’t feel and don’t really care about anyway.

I’m sure you’ll inform me the instant such a miracle pill became possible.

— Mike.

La Instalacion Es Busted

Filed under: digital — mhoye @ 12:55 am

I’ve gone looking for help around campus with an Irix install, because
the available documentation for this little project is as cold, thin
and useless as an aging supermodel. The school’s admins haven’t worked
with it, the architecture guys ditched their ones years ago in favor of
PCs, and that’s pretty much that. I even stooped so low as to ask the
CompSci department’s admins, which got me a “which version of Solaris
is that?”, which was a bit disconcerting, because of the two admins in
our department, that was the smart one.

I don’t even bother talking to the other one anymore, pursuant to the
very simple logic that if you bring your problems to somebody who is
incapable of solving those problems, then your problems will not be
solved. Q.E.Stop Wasting My Fucking Time D.


October 28, 2003

Inconsequential MT hacks

Filed under: digital — mhoye @ 6:23 pm

I’m sure everyone already knows this, but if your web-pages are served with healthy dollop of PHP, the absolute first thing you should change once you get into your Movable Type setup is to change your main index output file from “index.html” to “index.php”. I don’t know exactly what this does to Apache, aside from making it smartly parse PHP tags. – I hope that it doesn’t dim the lights in Shaver’s colo or anything, ’cause my ass is about half a stupid question away from an rmluser ejector seat on that front – but throwing a few php-readfile tags in there lets you separate a chunk of your site-admin away from the web interface to the console, and anything that gets me away from web interfaces is OK by me.


October 27, 2003

The Gorm Shortage

Filed under: digital — mhoye @ 11:23 pm

“You are completely gormless. You are devoid of gorm. You, sir, are gorm-free.”
– Harold, “The Red Green Show”

Having shaved my goatee for the first time since, well, since it started coming all the way in, I am absolutely not going to do this again. I kept a “soul tag”, that bit under the lower lip, very briefly. Arlene refused to allow my face anywhere near her, claiming I had a repugnant air of pretentious-artisteness, so that was the end of that. Now, it is all gone, and I am left looking like a man who has a misplaced his gorm. Not a happy day, not at all. I’m looking forward to having Evil Mike back.


October 23, 2003

The Princess Is In Another Castle

Filed under: digital — mhoye @ 6:39 pm

If you happen to be peering into the dimly lit recesses of my mind, you’ll notice that the place needs a serious cleaning. Fortunately for me it’s hard to see the clutter through the fog and the undergrowth, but if you’re planning a trip down Memory Lane, for example, you’ll definitely want to bring your sturdiest footwear. If you think it might turn into a good sulk, I’d pack a lunch.

A recent newsgroup post concerning the surprising longevity-to-crappiness ratio of Nethack and the Child’s Play article that’s been making the rounds has dredged memories of old Commodore 64 and Apple games out of the muck of my distant youth, and it was good to have them back in the forebrain again.


October 22, 2003

Type Moved.

Filed under: digital — mhoye @ 3:28 am

Please let me know if this looks cluttered on any of your various platforms, whoever the three of you people are. It looks goodish in Mozilla, acceptable in Konqueror and absolutely bitchin’ in Lynx, but that’s all I’ve got at hand. Are there any IE users out there? Opera?

October 21, 2003

Calling All My People

Filed under: analog — mhoye @ 8:58 pm

Apropos the Honda Element: Arlene, love of my life and supernatural creature possessed of frightful precognition, told me once that the reason for my irrational love of this car is that it looks like it’s made of lego.

Now, there is an ad on television which shows an Element being assembled from Lego. Arlene wields a mysterious power, and I fear all hundred and five pounds of her tiny Chinese wrath.

The first thing I thought when I saw a green Element this week was “Civic Nation Arming For War: Calling All My People To Your Local Conscription Office”.

TV, Dinner.

Filed under: analog — mhoye @ 6:13 pm

I am currently in possession of a thing, I should tell you, that makes me want to shout. One prominent feature of said item, which I enjoy very much, is that it is highly informative.

The item in question? Soul. Furthemore, and you may not be aware of this, I’m Superbad.


October 17, 2003

Super MP3 Tiger Punch

Filed under: digital — mhoye @ 5:16 pm

ProductIntroduction This product can bring you unexpected audio quality and advanced multi-function of memory. It’s very convenient to use.
To insert the personal stereo into the USB interface, it will be displayed as a movable memory disc automatically on the desktop till MP3 or other documents are dragged to the disc.
This cabinet digital personal stereo MP3 player is excellent in its timber, it can play 8-12 hours continually with a AAA battery, and be connected to the interface of computer to enjoy music directly.

That’s right; we’ve fired all of our translators, and we’re passing the savings on to you.


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