blarg?

October 21, 2003

TV, Dinner.

Filed under: analog — mhoye @ 6:13 pm

I am currently in possession of a thing, I should tell you, that makes me want to shout. One prominent feature of said item, which I enjoy very much, is that it is highly informative.

The item in question? Soul. Furthemore, and you may not be aware of this, I’m Superbad.


(Editor’s note: Mr. Hoye not actually superbad.)

I’ve got two things to tell you today. The first is dietary, the second merely frivolous.

First off, I have just reheated some frozen chili for myself, and because it was a minuscule portion of a leftover, I decided to fluff it out with some eggs, and a little spinach. Two points:

  1. This worked. I now have a reasonably-sized portion.
  2. This reasonably-sized portion, placed gingerly on a pale ceramic plate, looks almost exactly like something you’d mop out of a nightclub bathroom.

It tastes fine if I can, you know, avoid looking directly at it.

On to my second point: I don’t watch much Trek anymore, but sitting here with the Space channel on while I eat, I’m reminded of why I stopped: in an episode of Voyager, immediately after reporting that there are “no lifesigns” on the planet, they transport down next to a huge tree, with the sounds of birds chirping all over the background. Then, they find a huge stone artefact. And then, after a bit of work with the universal translator and a half-assed technical explanation, we get some cheap moralizing. Half the crew is reported as being “traumatized”, but everyone understands that the chance of this being an issue in future episodes is almost exactly zero. Thank you for that lesson and your very stern look, Captain, and let’s ade to credits.

In my mind, I can picture a half-dozen Rick Bermans in opaque Geordi-esque visors feeling some part of the elephantine Trek target audience, saying things like “Our target audience is a lot like a tree!” “No, no, it’s a snake!” “No, it is like a fan!”

I’m pretty sure that driving a successful franchise into the ground is a caning offense somewhere. Singapore, maybe?

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