blarg?

A Minor Disagreement

We won last night, which was good. I got to see how badly Coop got screwed by the league team-balancing reshuffling, which was not so good. He was moved from a strongish team to, well, whatever a gaggle of people in yellow shirts is; if you were willing to overlook the fact that they were all wearing the same colour shirts, it would be easy to believe that none of his team had ever spoken to each other before the first pull.

It’s painfully easy to see this from the sideline, but you can really, really tell the difference between a team that has a plan and a bunch of people who don’t.

My plan didn’t involve laying out on the astroturf as much as I did, which I’m why I’m currently having a difficult discussion with a very angry, intractable left leg about our long-term relationship. It goes something like this:

“I hate you.”

“Shut up.”

“I hate you. I want advil.”

“Shut Up.”

“I hate you. I need a bandage. I need a god-damned skin graft, I hate you!”

“Just shut up!”

“C’mon, Advil? Pretty-please?”

“Ok, here’s some Advil. Now willl you quiet down and stop leaking skin fluid all over my pants?”

“No. By the way, I hate you.”

So temperamental, so petty. I’ve known my left leg for decades. What’s eight inches of bleeding rug-burn between friends?

5 Comments | Skip to comment form

  1. Lara Beaton

    I know what you mean, my left hip is throwing a similar temper tantrum at me right now. It doesn’t truly hate me so much as it bitterly resents me trying to make it move out of the normal range of motion.

    Attempts at splits and hook kicks make it particularly belligerent.

  2. Mike Hoye

    I’m looking forward to when I’m old, and my joints just creak a little.

  3. sean

    I’ve had a bit of experience with this sort of burn too and I’m glad to hear you’re playing so hard Mike. Air tends to heal these kinds of wounds faster just make sure to keep it clean and shower often. Coop, good luck buddy hope it works out eventually.

  4. Mike Hoye

    Yes, air does make it heal faster. Which is why covering it up with a tensor bandage to keep the screaming pain of abraded-skin-touching-anything away was a horrible, horrible mistake.

    Because when I went to peel that tensor off, I discovered that I had managed to leak all the way through the tensor bandage and saturate the long-underwear overtop of it as well. And then hardened. Which is why peeling it off was just a cornucopia of painful and gross.

    Ick, ouchie, yuck, ouchie.

  5. Coop

    And here I thought slide tackles were illegal in ultimate. Maybe that’s why my team has been sucking so hard.