– Polaroid Spokesman.
What with it being Valentine’s day recently, I’ve been trying to figure out ways to make a relationship that Arlene describes as “cozy” a little more romantic, whatever that means. I’m not sure how to go about it; even though I’m not exactly sure what romance is, I know for damn sure that it’s a high-wire act on a gusty day. It might go well, but there’s so many ways that it could go horribly, skull-on-pavement wrong that I’m reluctant to take those first steps out on the rope. The line between romantic and tacky is a fine one, and I can’t see it in this dim lighting. And, boy, that’s a long way to fall without a net.
I’ve been doing some cooking for her, I’ve got candles going and I’m behaving in a reasonably civilized manner, but these things aren’t atypical: my guidelines are simple – around Arlene, my behaviour is the exact, polar opposite of how I would act at any other time.
You’d be astonished at how good a guideline that is. Or, hey, if you’ve met me you might not.
So I’m not sure what I could do to improve the mood around here: I’ve made every effort to make every weekend we get together a good one, and as a result I’m not sure what to do to make one weekend stand out.
I suppose I could put a bag over my head. That might help.