This Week In Hoye

“Don’t ask ‘What Would Jesus Do’. Ask ‘What Would Jesus Do Next?'”

I’ve got a couple of entries on the way, but they’re all stuck in narrative limbo until I can sharpen my blunt-instrument attention span to a point. Since last week, I’ve played an Ultimate tournament, gone to Kingston, extracted universal truths from general observations about highway driving, floated windward in an inner tube, eaten outstanding calamari, broken the law while driving home in the rain, mangled the Japanese language and suppressed a burning need to peel somebody’s kneecaps off with a claw hammer, and that’s a lot of stuff. A minor tragedy, but having so many ideas crowding my tiny forebrain after such a long wait is awkward and confusing. I’d say it was a totally novel experience if it wasn’t for my god-damned Ultimate team.

In the meantime, let me say two things:

  • Start, search, “cmd.exe”, right-click, Run As, LocalAdmin. The fact that this makes me even a little bit happy is completely demoralizing, but wherever you end up in life, well, there you are.
  • Chu Shing, as usual. Everyone’s invited. Same bat-time, same bat-channel, and not an obscure literary reference at all, no matter what your fevered imagination and deluded hippie associates might claim.

A Jewish coworker of mine has put a small sign on their office door that reads “Shalom”, which I understand means “Peace unto you”, but because parts of me inside are badly broken all I ever see is “Yeah, Doctor Teeth and the band are doing a Bar Mitzvah.”


  1. Anonymous
    Posted August 5, 2004 at 3:18 pm | Permalink

    “the band” you are referring to is the Electric Mayhem.

  2. Posted August 5, 2004 at 4:55 pm | Permalink

    They’re a brilliant band Dr. Bob called Electric Mayhem Funk!

    Why I could have called them criss crossed wires, conducting turmoil or the excited emission bedlam by mistake … I’m sure glad you’re here to edify me nurse during this man’s surgery!


    s (I’m sorry, couldn’t resist) just loved that show.

  3. Sean Ross
    Posted August 5, 2004 at 6:26 pm | Permalink

    “… my blunt-instrument attention span …”

    As someone who knows you, I would like to point out that the above description of your attention span is diametrically opposed to reality: your attention span, were it to be graphed along axes of topic vs. focus vs. time, would be a jagged bed of nails.

  4. Mike Hoye
    Posted August 6, 2004 at 12:16 am | Permalink

    Aw, that’s so sweet… look, I’m gonna cry.

  5. Melanie
    Posted August 6, 2004 at 4:36 pm | Permalink

    Hmm, I’m not sure I totally understand this post, but you do realize you’re going to get a serious dose of Jewish culture/religion in a couple weeks’ time, right? And you’re gonna have to stand there and grin and pretend like you think it’s the most meaningful and not silly thing in the world, because otherwise I’m gonna get the Best Man to kick your @ss, and you remember he’s 6’5″, and used to play football, right?

  6. Mike Hoye
    Posted August 6, 2004 at 8:04 pm | Permalink

    Doctor Teeth and the Electric Band are going to be at your Bar Mitzvah too?