Clutch is alive, thank you Jeebus. Finally. Listen though, people: I’ve talked about this before, but another word about Microsoft’s MN-500 router: do not ever purchase this product, ever. It is simply not heavy enough to club its creators to death with, but I promise that’s all you’ll want it for.
On to other things: I have a very strange problem that I’d like to relate to you. Bear with me for a moment.
I have, on the one hand, Breyers’ Natural Vanilla ice cream. This is a very fine vanilla ice cream, and is very delicious.
I have on the other hand a President’s Choice Sugar, Chocolate And Cinnamon Blend Grinder, whose purpose is to grind up the stated ingredients and convey their flavors to a recipient dish of my choosing. This is also a fine product, and has also been very delicious.
The problem is pretty straightforward: against all intuition and rational thought, when I put ground Sugar, Chocolate and Cinnamon on top of my Natural Vanilla Ice Cream, the thing that comes out the end of that process doesn’t taste like Vanilla Ice Cream With A Hint Of Sugar, Chocolate And Cinnamon. It tastes, and I swear this is true, like Genoa salami.
I have no idea what’s happening here, but let me say this again: when I mix the vanilla ice cream with the ground sugar, chocolate and cinnamon mix, some fierce invisible alchemy occurs, and I end up with a bowl full of cold, creamy Genoa salami.
My first thought was that I’d discovered the innovative miswiring of some baroque and darkened corner of my internal apparatus, but Arlene agrees with me, and she’s not broken the way I am. I’m as surprised as anyone.
I swear to you, this is the literal truth of the matter: cold, creamy Genoa salami. Seriously.
What the hell?