When I set my small brain, tiny forelimbs and monstrous slavering maw to it, I can produce a truly outstanding sandwich. Because I am a giver, and I love to give, I will now tell you how I produce my outstanding sandwiches. Look on my chicken sandwich, ye mighty, and salivate profusely!
See what I just did there? I portrayed myself as Ozymandias, the tyrannosaur sandwich samaritan. That’s what I provide here, folks; the depleted uranium of textual imagery, both startlingly dense and utterly useless in any practical context. Go ahead, question my motives; see if anything rational or even intelligible comes out. I dare you.
So, yeah, you slice up some tomato and onion, some old cheddar, mince up some ginger and garlic and, twelve hours in the past, marinate a chicken thigh or three in a little teriyaki and soy sauce. Chop that chicken up, then, and throw it back in the marinade.
Then, on a mid to high heat, throw the onions and garlic into a fry pan with some butter and, important, salt. Sautee ’til the onions soften up and the garlic turns a nice not-burned-yet brown. Scoop it all into a bowl, and set aside.
Next, throw the chicken, marinade and all, into that fry pan and crank the heat up. The sauce will boil down to a very nice glaze on the chicken, and when that boiling-down part’s almost done, throw the ginger in there. Do not stir, or simply “spatula” the chicken – instead, shift it around with a quick flip of the wrist; this will facilitate your feeling like an actual chef! Remember that everything that goes up in the air must also land back in the pan. A key point, that.
When slightly crispy, and not burned, put all of these things you have made onto a fresh bread of your choosing, with a little bit of mayonnaise and some dijon. Not, I think, with pedestrian yellow french’s mustard or appalling ketchup, because we are not a bunch of filthy, miserable savages scrounging for condiments on the dimly-lit fringes of a dying civilization here. Toasting the bread? You decide.
It’s a little more work than a PBJ but I promise you it’s totally worth it.