March 18, 2006

A Drinking Problem

Filed under: analog — mhoye @ 2:44 pm

Last night, after being awake for 40 hours at a stretch or so, I was lying in bed just beat and I couldn’t get to sleep at all. I was at that point where it hurt my eyes to look at things or change direction, and even though I wasn’t muscle-tired my connective tissues were sending in urgent reports of some extremely distressing news. My joints are irate at the best of times, and I think my shoulder was actually blinking red.

And I was just too wired up to sleep.

So obviously, I did what any responsible adult citizen would do in my situation; I decided to self-medicate with alcohol.

That’s not my drinking problem.

Investigating the alcohol-on premises situation, I discovered that my liquor shelf was very nearly bare. We’ve never really restocked since Christmas; we’ll grab a bottle of wine if we’re having guests over, but I haven’t even been restocking beer unless we’re going to be cooking with it too. We have, on my shelf:

  • A half a bottle of Soho lychee liqueur,
  • A little single-dose bottle of something called “Dubonnet”, described as a “wine-based apertif” and of unknown origin, and
  • Another single-dose bottle of “Sourz”, a green-hued “sour apple beverage” that looks like the sort of thing that frosh week teaches girls to avoid.

… and that’s it.

That’s my drinking problem.

I want you to imagine me standing in the kitchen on shaky legs, staring at this bleak situation through forty-hours-open eyes. All the liquor stores are closed by now, I’m thinking, and there’s just no way I’m going to wade through amateur night and pay amateur night’s hyperinflated prices just so that I can get a decent night’s sleep. “It’s this, or nothing”, I’m thinking.


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