I will spare you the details, because these are recklessly bad movies. Just astonishingly bad. “We know our target audience,” these movies shout, “and we look down on them with total disdain and relentless, unmitigated contempt.”
You know what? I lied; I won’t spare you the details.
Fantastic Four has no merit whatsoever. It exists only because Marvel Comics has decided that having its loyal audience pissed on voluminously and from a great height is a sound business decision.
Ultraviolet stars Milla Jovovich’s torso and a menagerie of elaborate devices that periodically anchor her in place and force her to make porn-star faces. While laudable, this was not nearly enough to atone for the soul-searing stupidity that is everything else in the movie.
But, let me share with you one observation that struck me while I was watching these movies which has, upon reflection, held true in all instances I can think of.
I have been playing a very small number of video games recently, mostly Halo 2 and Gran Turismo, and one of the things that I’ve noticed is that the physics engines in video games look an awful lot more realistic than the models being used in movies. Watching replays of a race in Gran Turismo 4 doesn’t look as shiny and smooth* as Ultraviolet, but the way they move around looks wildly more realistic than than the way CGI vehicles move around in any movie I can remember.
I’m thinking there’s some collaborating to be done there, that’s all.
* – almost, though, and that’s on a six-year-old graphics engine running at 300mhz.