Memo To Whitey

God dammit.

Listen, people; you are far, far more likely to drown in the bathtub or die of a lighting strike than you are to die in terrorist-related anything. Especially in Canada. Fellow citizens, fellow white citizens especially, I very much need you to not soil yourselves in snivelling, petulant fear whenever somebody with brown skin checks his watch.

I ask this of you this partly because I don’t want to live in a country full of bigots, but mostly because I don’t want to live in a country full of cowards.

So, because I asked nicely, stop living in fear. The world is not limited to the things that sheltered, narrow suburbanites are comfortable with. Roll with it.

Thank you for your attention in this matter.

6 Comments

  1. Posted September 8, 2006 at 10:49 am | Permalink

    Uh, Mike,

    I hate to rain on your parade man (or snow, being as you’re in the Frozen Wastes of the north and all), but I’m pretty sure just about every country on the planet is mostly populated by bigoted cowards who can’t be bothered to think.

  2. Melanie
    Posted September 8, 2006 at 12:14 pm | Permalink

    Wow. That article read like something out of the Onion. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I will point out that skin color probably didn’t play any role here – just plain old ignorance about behavior. After all, he was wearing some sort of funny “hat” – clearly suspicious!

  3. Mike Hoye
    Posted September 8, 2006 at 12:25 pm | Permalink

    Being afraid of people who wear unusual headgear or speak foreign languages might not be a whites-only club, but I’m confident in a supermajority.

    Jamie: So what? I don’t have to like it.

  4. Mike Hoye
    Posted September 8, 2006 at 12:35 pm | Permalink

    I should add, though, that it did make me kind of sad to find out that none of the jewish traditional headgear has a name that rhymes with “snakes”.

  5. Posted September 8, 2006 at 1:44 pm | Permalink

    I like the way the article implies that kicking off a praying Muslim would be normal and expected.

  6. Posted September 8, 2006 at 2:42 pm | Permalink

    It seems odd to me that the airline is branded according to the style of music on the in-flight radio. Would this have happened on Air Canada World?