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None Dare Call It Dumb-Looking

I’m hardly the guy to be handing out fashion advice, because come on seriously, but listen up, yo. Two things.

One: I’ve seen a lot of people this fall gunning hard for the jeans-and-blazer look, and I’ve got to tell you: those people look like idiots. You know how people used to describe mullets as “business up front and a party in the back”? When I see it, that’s what I think of. I think “this man is dressed like a mullet.”

Two: Are you wearing white sneakers, jeans and a collared shirt with the collar turned up just so? Got your Ray Bans on? Because there’s been an extremely strong correlation between being so dressed and my wanting to punch you out for no reason lately. That outfit might be the secret ceremonial robes of the Jackass Illuminati, or something.

Thank you for your attention in this matter, please resume getting down with your bad selves at your own convenience.

Update: “This somehow validates my own prejudice, mysterious stranger across the street!”

2 Comments | Skip to comment form

  1. Quotation

    I have seen a dramatic uptick this fall of men in mullets with scarves tied just so, but the scarves are silk and worn indoors while sitting at a desk.

    Oh, and the colour of the scarf is usually matched to the colour of his contact lenses.

    MUST . . . RESIST . . . FIST

  2. Mike Hoye

    Yeah, I saw a guy the other day wearing an ascot. An ascot! It was like finding a coelecanth at the local fishmonger.