So I’ve just bought a house, and during that process my bank has lost my business about five times. It seems like every time I speak to them, they go that extra mile to make absolutely sure that I’ll never want to give them any of my money ever again.
How do I hate you, Scotia, let me count the ways.
#1: We need to give various people voided cheques, for insurance and so forth. Can we just walk into a convenient Scotiabank and order some cheques? Hell no – you can only order cheques from your “home branch”; ours used to be in Ottawa. But we can change our home branch easily, right? Sure, but that takes 24 hours to “take effect”! So we need to come back, and talk to them again. But only between the hours of 10:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m. I’m sure that we didn’t have anywhere we needed to be during that time. Honestly, this sounds too stupid to be true, but this is straight from the Scotia rep’s mouth.
#2: On that note: “Banker’s Hours”. Must be nice.
#3: A recurring conversation:
“We just bought a house.”
“Oh, did you get your mortgage with us?”
“No, your rates really weren’t competitive.”
“Can I ask what rate you got?”
“Sure, we got x.xx%”
“And you didn’t bring that number back to us?”
No, we didn’t. Why should we have to? Your first offer wasn’t even close; is the fact that both my wife and I have done all our banking with you for our entire adult lives not a good enough reason for you to put your best offer forward, here? I guess not.
#4: Those people at the bank who tell you which sort of accounts you should put your money in for best results, that sort of thing? We’ve had to go over their choices and double-check their advice every single time we’ve spoken to any of them, because their advice has frequently been either misleading or wrong.
#5: Their posted mortgage and interest rates are crappy, but that’s OK, because those posted rates are all lies anyway. I’ll admit I should have noticed this a long time ago, but when I found out that my bank’s interest rates were a fraction of what the competition was offering, they offered to increase it. Substantially, and just like that. To almost, but not quite, what the competition is offering. Will they do that on their own, unprovoked, just because I’ve been a good customer? Of course not. ING Direct for the decisive, undisputed win here, seriously.
#6: Funny story: my wife emptied one account, and then had to change it’s “home branch” so that she could close it, forcing the one-day-hold on it and forcing her to come back the next day. And because the account had zero dollars in it for 24 hours, we were charged a two-dollar service fee that the account rep neglected to mention. An oversight, I’m sure; I’m also sure there are plenty of regulations to hide behind and use as excuses for the fact that dealing with them in any way at all is a totally onerous process, but I’m all out of caring, and that extra service fee was just icing. Especially considering this next bit.
#7: Today, when my wife told one of their desk monkeys that, again no, we weren’t going to get our mortgage with them because their rates are not competitive at all, they said we should get our mortgage from them anyway, because they’d give us some free patio furniture. Not a competitive rate, just some ugly, cheap-ass patio furniture.
Whoever thought of that last one should be fired. I’m moving my finances over to ING now, who not only offer wildly better interest rates but also because their representatives that I’ve spoken to seem to share my belief that my time is worth something. Goodbye, Scotia, and good riddance. Which is to say, screw you guys.