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Fear Of A Baptismal Planet

“Nobel Peace Prize Laureate, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, has called for urgent action against the threat of climate change, while speaking in Tromso, the largest city north of the Arctic Circle.”

A key point:

“The service ended in a procession to the Arctic shore, where Russian
Orthodox Archbishop Simon of Murmansk blessed the ocean.”

So the reason that there are no more vampires in the world is that the ocean has been blessed, effectively making all the water in the world holy water.

Discuss.

2 Comments | Skip to comment form

  1. Mike Kozlowski

    Well, a) the dude only has so much holiness, so unless you used a powerful relic to boost the holiness he had to impart (fingerbone of a major saint, AT LEAST), he’s not going to have much of an effect when you disperse his holiness over the whole ocean, but also b) salt corrodes holiness over time, which is why holy water intended for long-term use is always fresh water.

  2. Mike Hoye

    I’m thinking that the whole holiness-infusion process gets refreshed every now and then – blessing the ocean can’t be a wildly uncommon process – and if I understand the mythology the vampiric reaction to the holy water is anaphylactic, not corrosive, so a little dab’ll do ya.

    Your theory about the sodium corrosion of sanctity, though, is fantastic.