A Tree Broke My Internets (updated)

…and my garage.

I’ll have pictures up later, but for now if you need to speak to me you should use my cell. I have no internets and no landline because a tree has fallen through my wires on the way to and through my garage. I’m poaching wireless right now, and it probably won’t last.

I’m insured, but still: God dammit.

Fuck you, tree.

Update: Pictures!

Update 2: My intertubes are back, and the tree is already cleared away. We seem to be back inside the bounds of civilization. Huzzah!

I’m sure that a few things I didn’t say have added to the melodrama, but for those friends who haven’t visited, my garage contains no car, and is not connected to my house proper – insurance is going to replace the whole thing. The only question right now is how much damage the stuff inside the garage has sustained (Bikes! Tools! My barbecue, and my beloved mitre saw!) but there’s just no way to get into that thing right now. And, bonus for when we get really serious about going in there, there was a full propane tank right behind the door the other night. Where is it now? Good question!

What could possibly go wrong?


  1. Posted September 14, 2007 at 11:29 pm | Permalink

    If a tree falls on the garage and no one hears it, does it still cut off your telecommunications access?

  2. Mike Hoye
    Posted September 14, 2007 at 11:31 pm | Permalink

    Answer: yes.

  3. Posted September 14, 2007 at 11:52 pm | Permalink

    Holy. Shit.

    Small comfort, but I’m relieved it was your garage and not your actual house.

  4. Mike Hoye
    Posted September 14, 2007 at 11:57 pm | Permalink

    My not-small comfort comes from the fact that my wife is upstairs asleep in bed, safe and sound. Everything else is a bonus.

  5. Posted September 15, 2007 at 1:38 am | Permalink

    Was it your tree, or a neighbour’s tree?

  6. Mike Hoye
    Posted September 15, 2007 at 7:35 am | Permalink

    Neighbor’s tree.

  7. Posted September 15, 2007 at 6:23 pm | Permalink

    Neighbour’s tree,
    Neighbour’s insurance,
    Neighbour’s deductible,
    Neighbour’s insurance premium increase;

    Your free firewood.

  8. Posted September 16, 2007 at 1:17 am | Permalink

    It’s too bad that as soon as the tree fell, looters broke in to the wreckage and stole the 57″ plasma that we were going to install today.

  9. Mike Hoye
    Posted September 16, 2007 at 9:14 am | Permalink

    I didn’t keep the receipt!

  10. Posted September 17, 2007 at 8:40 am | Permalink

    Ah, well, so the plasma TV is lost. What about the priceless antique crystal dining set and porcelain figurines that your great great great grandmother carried over from wherever people like you come from? I’m sure you still have the laserprinted value estimations from that antiques appraiser that died last year. Sorry, I can’t seem to remember his name, but I’m sure it’s on the letterhead.

  11. Melanie
    Posted September 18, 2007 at 12:40 pm | Permalink

    Yikes! Glad everyone is OK!