April 27, 2008

A Clear And Present Danger

Filed under: lunacy,travel,weird — mhoye @ 4:32 pm

On my first morning here, I rummaged through my luggage and discovered two things:

  • A note saying our luggage had been searched by the Department of Homeland Security, and
  • No socks.

One of two things may have happened here. The first is mere absentmindedness and coincidence, and the second is that the American national security establishment has stolen my socks.

I’ll let you guess which way I’m going to  tell that story. Fortunately my underwear was not deemed to be a threat, and none of you will be subjected to a rant about Hoye stomping Tokyo commando-style. That doesn’t mean I’ll spare you the mental image, of course, because that’s how I roll. Don’t worry, ma’am, I’m from the internets.

It occurs to me that perhaps my socks were not confiscated, but commandeered, playing some shadowy but crucial role in the war on terror that the world can never be allowed to know.


  1. In retrospect, bringing the plutonium socks was not a great idea.

    Comment by Mike Kozlowski — April 27, 2008 @ 10:36 pm

  2. Plutonium Bond Medicated Powder: When You Absolutely, Positively Need To Deal With That Smell.

    Comment by Mike Hoye — April 27, 2008 @ 11:06 pm

  3. Maybe they figure the logical step from shoe bombs is sock bombs?

    The DHS itself doesn’t give a damn about your socks, unless you were trying to sneak something illegal out of the country.

    On the other hand, the guy who did the searching might have taken them. Maybe he has a sock fetish. Either him or a baggage handler.

    I work for U.S. Customs & Border Protection, that’s how I know. No, I’m not a field officer, but I do work in the security management division.

    Comment by Lyn — April 28, 2008 @ 11:56 am

  4. At least you got a note. When we went to Disney World last year, despite using TSA approved locks on all our luggage, they cut the lock off of my wife’s suitcase and had obviously been through all her stuff, since it was no longer neatly folded and properly secured.

    Fucking assholes. I can only hope this shit ends starting next year.

    Comment by Jamie — April 28, 2008 @ 12:08 pm

  5. […] blarg? » A Clear And Present Danger “[T]he American national security establishment has stolen my socks.” (tags: war US stupid travel) […]

    Pingback by World of Science News : Blog Archive : links for 2008-04-29 [Uncertain Principles] — April 29, 2008 @ 5:54 am

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