Hello, World

Motion 15

In my first draft of this post, which was subsequently vetoed by an involved party, I made a number of supervillianesque claims involving ultrasonic rays, impending geological upheavals and something pleasantly contradictory about the “miracles of natural selection” which I enjoyed immensely but which did not, sadly, pass muster.

Mere moments ago, however, I was asked if that shouldn’t read “pass mustard”, to give you an idea of the editorial board I’m dealing with here. “Cut the mustard? Cut the cheese?” Passing inspection, achieving success or breaking a mighty wind, you can see how in the wrong hands they’re almost synonyms.

Also, I am currently getting punched.

So let me say it simply, then, because it’s good news and I’m happy to share it: my wife and I are expecting a kid sometime in mid-May.

We’re happy about it! Though not, I think, quite as frothingly delirious as the grandparents-to-be, who will no doubt be enjoying the combination of like-having-a-kid-except-on-easy-mode and now-it’s-your-turn-ha-ha-ha that I’m sure being a grandparent entails. And you should know that no, we don’t have a name, gender or plans for a legion of others yet.

But I’m sure it will work out well; the early signs point to healthy and as many people know, I am an excellent role model.

Stay sharp, futurekid. We’ll see you in six months.


  1. Aven
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 10:24 pm | Permalink

    Congratulations to you both! That’s very exciting. And pass on my best wishes and happiness to the one-who-punches, please!

  2. Posted November 10, 2008 at 10:55 pm | Permalink

    In that picture, off in the distance, I think I can make out the oncoming train.

  3. Maggie
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 11:39 pm | Permalink

    Oh, HOORAY!! Congratulations to both of you!

    It’s a hell of a ride. But a fun one, and I’m sure you’ll have a blast.

  4. Nikita
    Posted November 10, 2008 at 11:50 pm | Permalink

    That’s wonderful news—congratulations!

  5. Posted November 10, 2008 at 11:53 pm | Permalink

    Jesus, you switch to a Mac and suddenly you’re more virile.

  6. Posted November 11, 2008 at 7:13 am | Permalink

    Congrats Mike. And to your wife as well, whose name I can’t recall at the moment. She can punch me for it if we’re ever in physical proximity.

  7. Posted November 11, 2008 at 8:32 am | Permalink

    Wow, congratulations! I get the relevance of the picture now, light at the end of the tunnel.

  8. Sean Ross
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 8:47 am | Permalink


  9. Mike Bruce
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 9:39 am | Permalink

    Dude, congratulations.

  10. Mike Hoye
    Posted November 11, 2008 at 5:18 pm | Permalink

    Thanks, everyone!

  11. Posted November 12, 2008 at 9:38 am | Permalink


    How tall is your wife? Does she want a second-hand “no you may not touch my belly” T-shirt?

  12. Mike Hoye
    Posted November 12, 2008 at 12:15 pm | Permalink

    She’s about your size, I think!

  13. Rajesh
    Posted November 12, 2008 at 3:07 pm | Permalink


  14. Julie
    Posted November 12, 2008 at 8:02 pm | Permalink

    Congrats Mike and Arlene! That’s so exciting. I can’t wait to meet the newest member of your family :)

  15. Kaitlin
    Posted November 13, 2008 at 12:00 am | Permalink

    Many congratulations!!! Andrew will send a congratulatory email in the next few days that says more than just “congratulations”.

  16. Posted November 13, 2008 at 10:17 pm | Permalink

    Congratulations, Mike. It’s a wild ride, and you’ll need all your trademark wit and humour to make it through :)

    Welcome to the club.

  17. Bella AM
    Posted November 17, 2008 at 3:20 am | Permalink

    I’m delighted for you two!

    *dancie dancie!*

  18. Amos
    Posted November 17, 2008 at 12:17 pm | Permalink

    Congrats Mike!

  19. Allyson Robinson
    Posted November 19, 2008 at 7:53 am | Permalink

    Hey, congratulations! That’s great news!