Hello, World

Motion 15

In my first draft of this post, which was subsequently vetoed by an involved party, I made a number of supervillianesque claims involving ultrasonic rays, impending geological upheavals and something pleasantly contradictory about the “miracles of natural selection” which I enjoyed immensely but which did not, sadly, pass muster.

Mere moments ago, however, I was asked if that shouldn’t read “pass mustard”, to give you an idea of the editorial board I’m dealing with here. “Cut the mustard? Cut the cheese?” Passing inspection, achieving success or breaking a mighty wind, you can see how in the wrong hands they’re almost synonyms.

Also, I am currently getting punched.

So let me say it simply, then, because it’s good news and I’m happy to share it: my wife and I are expecting a kid sometime in mid-May.

We’re happy about it! Though not, I think, quite as frothingly delirious as the grandparents-to-be, who will no doubt be enjoying the combination of like-having-a-kid-except-on-easy-mode and now-it’s-your-turn-ha-ha-ha that I’m sure being a grandparent entails. And you should know that no, we don’t have a name, gender or plans for a legion of others yet.

But I’m sure it will work out well; the early signs point to healthy and as many people know, I am an excellent role model.

Stay sharp, futurekid. We’ll see you in six months.

19 Comments | Skip to comment form

  1. Aven

    Congratulations to you both! That’s very exciting. And pass on my best wishes and happiness to the one-who-punches, please!

  2. Quotation

    In that picture, off in the distance, I think I can make out the oncoming train.

  3. Maggie

    Oh, HOORAY!! Congratulations to both of you!

    It’s a hell of a ride. But a fun one, and I’m sure you’ll have a blast.

  4. Nikita

    That’s wonderful news—congratulations!

  5. Mike Kozlowski

    Jesus, you switch to a Mac and suddenly you’re more virile.

  6. Jamie Bowden

    Congrats Mike. And to your wife as well, whose name I can’t recall at the moment. She can punch me for it if we’re ever in physical proximity.

  7. Guillaume

    Wow, congratulations! I get the relevance of the picture now, light at the end of the tunnel.

  8. Sean Ross


  9. Mike Bruce

    Dude, congratulations.

  10. Mike Hoye

    Thanks, everyone!

  11. Kate Nepveu


    How tall is your wife? Does she want a second-hand “no you may not touch my belly” T-shirt?

  12. Mike Hoye

    She’s about your size, I think!

  13. Rajesh


  14. Julie

    Congrats Mike and Arlene! That’s so exciting. I can’t wait to meet the newest member of your family :)

  15. Kaitlin

    Many congratulations!!! Andrew will send a congratulatory email in the next few days that says more than just “congratulations”.

  16. David Humphrey

    Congratulations, Mike. It’s a wild ride, and you’ll need all your trademark wit and humour to make it through :)

    Welcome to the club.

  17. Bella AM

    I’m delighted for you two!

    *dancie dancie!*

  18. Amos

    Congrats Mike!

  19. Allyson Robinson

    Hey, congratulations! That’s great news!