The futurekid hasn’t arrived yet, so I haven’t had the full effect of this being pointed right at my face, but early evidence points to there being something about babies that makes people’s brains turn off. It’s worse than kittens.
There are eleven separate warnings decals on our carseat. They are a variety of shapes and sizes and they all say the same thing, the gist of which is “Warning: an infant car seat is for infants, and when you put an infant into an infant carseat, you will have an infant in your carseat. Warning: If you do not buckle your infant into the carseat, your infant will not be buckled into the carseat. Warning: If you place the infant in the carseat and then place the carseat in the car, the infant will also be in the car.” Apparently in the event of an accident my child will be protected by a thick barrier of warning messages saying I shouldn’t have done that.
Honestly, the surface area of this thing is about 30% warning label, and this is ridiculous. This isn’t helping anyone, it’s the mindless graffiti of a culture of litigious fear. I’m not a rabid opponent of nanny-state measures, but I hate stuff like this. It has nothing to do with safety, and everything to do with avoiding culpability; it makes the world ugly. Did somebody think “The first eight warning labels, those might not take. But these next three! Boy, those’ll do it for sure!” No, of course not. Nobody thought about this; there was no thinking involved. Just a spasm of ass-covering, some vestigial corporate reflex.
Of course, I have not only not read all of them, I have barely read one of them. This thing has one lever in it, and one clip for the kid’s seatbelt. It clicks when it is properly operated, and doesn’t when it doesn’t; a golden retriever could operate this thing. I’m going to install it, and then ask somebody at the fire station check to see that it’s been done properly, and then I’m going to go about my day.
Futurekid, I hope that I will teach you to have a very low tolerance for this kind of nonsense.