November 6, 2009

Nothing Valued Is Here

Filed under: a/b,digital,doom,fail,hate,interfaces,linux,losers,lunacy,toys,vendetta — mhoye @ 9:50 pm

Exhibit 1: “Excerpts from Expert Judgment on Markers to Deter Inadvertent Human Intrusion into the Waste Isolation Pilot Plant, Sandia National Laboratories report SAND92-1382 / UC-721, p. F-49.”

This place is not a place of honor.
No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here.
Nothing valued is here.
This place is a message and part of a system of messages.
Pay attention to it!
Sending this message was important to us.
We considered ourselves to be a powerful culture.

Exhibit 2: The OpenOffice Mouse.

“In partnership with the community, WarMouse announced the release of the OpenOfficeMouse, the first multi-button application mouse designed for the world’s leading open-source office productivity suite. With a revolutionary and patented design featuring 18 buttons, an analog joystick, and support for as many as 52 key commands, the OpenOfficeMouse is intended to provide a faster and more efficient user interface for applications such as Writer and Calc than the conventional icons, pull-down menus, and hotkeys presently permit.” […]

“You can do far more with this mouse than most people are likely to realize at first,” said mouse designer Theodore Beale. “You can launch applications from the desktop, and in your browser you can fire up a specific Internet site with one button, then close it with a double-click on the same button. In Writer and Calc, you can have your most powerful and complicated macros on one row of buttons and simple functions like Bold, Undo, and Format Cell on another. It’s very useful in games like World of Warcraft, because even without taking the joystick into account, you’ve got 16 commands within one click, 40 within two, and all 72 icons on the six action pages within just two double-clicks or less.”

I’ve never seen an accessory that said more clearly that this place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here.

This has to be a joke.


  1. More likely WarMouse had a wildly impractical mouse that they wanted a brand for, and OOo was only too happy to get the news coverage.

    It’s a good deal: WarMouse probably made more sales today than any day in its history, and it’s not like OOo’s name could get any worse.

    Comment by Joe — November 6, 2009 @ 10:05 pm

  2. Is it a joke, really? I honestly can’t tell!

    Comment by Mike Kozlowski — November 6, 2009 @ 10:35 pm

  3. So apparently the OpenOffice people are saying this doesn’t have any kind of license to use the name and they’re not associated &c.

    When even OpenOffice is saying your thing is too hideous for words, dude.

    Comment by Mike Kozlowski — November 9, 2009 @ 8:37 pm

  4. The only image they have is clearly computer rendered, and their store doesn’t work. I’d be surprised if they had an actual physical product.

    Comment by Ted Mielczarek — November 10, 2009 @ 9:05 am

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