December 23, 2009

Dear Former Homeowners Redux Redux Redux Redux Redux

Filed under: doom,fail,hate,interfaces,life,losers,lunacy,vendetta — mhoye @ 5:46 pm


We came home the other day to the delightful, cheery smell of a house full of propane.

It turns out that even though boring old building codes say your gas meter should be at least an inch away from adjacent surfaces, our former homeowners apparently needed that inch real bad, so ours was right up against the brick.

Now, bricks, you might know because you’re smarter than those very bricks, are water-porous. And if you give it enough time, that water does very exciting things to common household items like, to pick one entirely at random, gas meters.

When the Enbridge guy came (quickly and well-equippedly, I should add, which made me very happy) to find the leak a piece of the back of the meter just scraped off in his hands, corroded right through. This was easily dealt with as these things go, fortunately, because we’re in the middle of a basement reno. The washer and dryer were out of the way, so he had easy access to it to the main.

As part of that basement reno, we’ve replaced said old washer and dryer. And just moments ago, the fellow I gave the dryer to tells me that he believes the dryer will be much more efficient, now that he’s pulled the rust-stained, half-scorched hand towel out of the vent pipe. The burn marks on it seem to indicate that there has at least once actually been a fire there, isolated to the vent pipe in which he found it.

That vent pipe ran up right next to my gas main on its way out the side of the house.

Dear former homeowners, I hate you so much. Every now and then I stop what I’m doing and just take a moment to hate you just a little bit more. If I thought really hard about you, bile would bleed from my eyes.


  1. It’s all fun and games until YOUR FUCKING HOUSE BLOWS UP.

    Comment by Mike Kozlowski — December 23, 2009 @ 5:59 pm

  2. (But seriously, wouldn’t the gas company have installed the meter in the first place, making it their fuck-up to begin with?)

    Comment by Mike Kozlowski — December 23, 2009 @ 6:00 pm

  3. You have my sympathies. We’re six years into homeownership, and we STILL find shit that’s wrong. Ungh.

    Comment by Maggie — December 23, 2009 @ 6:34 pm

  4. Koz: There was evidence that a piece of thin drywall had been wedged forcibly into that space, presumably to facilitate the water conveyance.

    Comment by mhoye — December 23, 2009 @ 7:44 pm

  5. I seem to recall telling you to check the dryer vent just after you bought the house, because hey, turns out a clogged dryer vent is a huge fire hazard and your former homeowners are just the sort of morons who would let it get clogged.

    Comment by Jamie — December 23, 2009 @ 10:53 pm

  6. Propane? Not natural gas? And I’m surprised the meter is inside. I thought they had to be these big ugly gray bucket things hanging on the outside of your house. I’m no expert mind you. I’m still quite reluctant to invest in a dependancy on yet another utility. And then there is the fact that I have smelled gas in every gas connected house I have spent any significant time in or around – resulting in positive tests for leaks. I’m surprised more houses don’t blow up.

    Comment by Amos — December 23, 2009 @ 10:56 pm

  7. Jamie: Yeah, I did that, but I didn’t think to check in the dryer itself.

    Amos: I think it is natural gas, yeah. They kind of smell the same to me.

    Comment by mhoye — December 23, 2009 @ 11:12 pm

  8. Amos, sometimes they have them inside the house. Our gas company just did a big initiative to move them outside (to save fruitless trips by their meter readers, since nobody’s ever home to let them in) recently.

    Comment by Mike Kozlowski — December 23, 2009 @ 11:34 pm

  9. Why not get a natural gas dryer? I used one once, and it was the pants.

    Comment by Quotation — December 24, 2009 @ 6:02 pm

  10. It’s my understanding that natural gas and propane are odorless– the odor that people associate with those fuels is from an additive, which is there to help you detect leaks.

    Comment by Hokie — December 29, 2009 @ 11:47 pm

  11. Butyl mercaptan, yeah. Does that job fine, it turns out!

    Comment by mhoye — December 30, 2009 @ 12:06 am

  12. Been there. Still there. My house was last owned / renovated / ruinated by monkeys. Or cheap people. Perhaps both. Random spacing between studs in walls; randomly insulated and moisture-barriered rooms; wall partitions that must have been ‘eyeballed’ given how far out of square / level / plumb they were.

    Some recent favourites I’ve discovered: A poorly installed marble tile “upgrade” glued on top of vinyl flooring. And just this weekend I replaced a range hood that had never worked. Reason: it had a working electrical connection but no vent to the outside. Air was just escaping out any way it could. Sears estimate to fix: $1200. DIY: $42 for ducts + foil tape I already had + some screws + my tools + my time.

    Ten years ago I owned practically no tools and knew nothing about building. It’s really unbelievable how much I’ve learned in having to undo other people’s idiocy.


    Comment by Todd Lyons — January 20, 2010 @ 8:48 am

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