January 15, 2010

Trek References Are An Important Part Of The Larval-Stage Nerd Diet

Filed under: awesome,life,parenting — mhoye @ 10:06 pm


“Isn’t that gagh?”

“Very good. You did some research on our nutritional choices.”

“Yes. But it’s still moving.”

“Gagh is always best when served live. Would you like something easier?”


January 8, 2010

On The Verge

Filed under: awesome,lunacy,parenting — mhoye @ 3:05 pm


Maya’s just on the verge of crawling. She’s got all the parts of crawling, she just hasn’t figured out how to put them together yet. I’m rooting for her.

“Come on, Maya, get there! Eye of the tiger, Maya! Eye of the tiger!”

“She doesn’t know what that means. I don’t know what that means.”

“Eye of the Tigger, Maya! Eye of the Tigger!”


“Eye of the Tigger!”

“Leave her alone, you freak.”

January 4, 2010

Executives! Retreat!

Filed under: a/b,digital,fail,losers — mhoye @ 2:00 am

Rear View

When I was in my early twenties I almost got fired for asking my boss if the planned Executive Retreat was going to be a strategic retreat or a rout.

Exhibit 1: A job posting at Microsoft.

If you’re looking for a new role where you’ll focus on one of the biggest issues that is top of mind for KT and Steve B in “Compete”, build a complete left to right understanding of the subsidiary, have a large amount of executive exposure, build and manage the activities of a v-team of 13 district Linux &  Open Office Compete Leads, and develop a broad set of marketing skills and report to a management team committed to development and recognized for high WHI this is the position for you! The Commercial Software Initiative (CSI) Lead plays a pivotal role for the Subsidiary GM, the BG leads and the BMO by building a discipline within the US that is focused on competing against.

Exhibit 2: Robin Williams and Bruno Kirby in “Good Morning Vietnam”, 1987.

“Seeing as how the VP is such a VIP shouldn’t we keep the PC on the QT, ’cause if it leaks to the VC he could end up an MIA, and then we’d all be put on KP.”

“… I would like to leave the room now.”

It’s unintelligible gibberish, sure, but if I’m reading that first bit right, does it really say that competing with OpenOffice is one of the biggest issues on the mind of Steve Ballmer and whoever KT is?

If so, this just reinforces my thinking that Microsoft is doomed. It’ll be a long, slow doom, sure, but with these yokels at the helm, it seems inevitable. OpenOffice? What? I wonder if you need to master the OpenOffice Mouse to be eligible for the job.

(Honestly, my brain is making this sheet-metal, wibble-wibble-wibble noise while that whole notion thrashes around in it. OpenOffice? What? The OpenOffice? What? You do what? Who? OpenOffice? What?)

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