November 28, 2011

A Superstitious And Cowardly Lot

Filed under: digital,documentation,fail,hate,interfaces,losers,vendetta,work — mhoye @ 12:17 pm

At some point, a friend of mine has noted, some people should just admit that they hate and fear all change. It turns out that’s just as and probably more true of my enterprise sysadmin colleagues than it is of anyone else, but it seems a little more awkwardly baroque coming from class of people who struggle to convey the elaborate technical justifications for their misguided superstitions with substandard language skills.

I wonder how many promising projects, ideas and even careers never got off the ground because it was just too soul-destroying to deal with all the people whose “contribution” consisted of “you may have overlooked all the reasons you suck, are ignorant and will fail.” It’s honestly enough to make me think Apple is actually doing this the right way, if for the wrong reasons. Open development gives an opportunity to a contributor and a soapbox to an asshole, and some days I’m not sure it’s a good trade.

That’s what killfiles are for, I guess. Honestly, every time I look at this Mozilla Enterprise mailing list, I spend a little more time thinking Kev is a superhero.

November 26, 2011

It’s Hard To Overstate My Satisfaction

Filed under: arcade,awesome,digital,life,parenting,science,toys,want — mhoye @ 1:39 pm

A while back, I sent some email to Valve suggesting they should make a shirt commemorating Portal 2’s “Bring Your Daughter To Work Day”.

They did.

I love Valve a little bit more all the time. So awesome.

(Also, the date given – 08/05/85 – it is… very interesting.)

November 19, 2011

“I knew it, I’m surrounded by assholes.”

Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He’s an Asshole, sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What’s his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name, sir. Asshole. Major Asshole.

Have I mentioned that the No Asshole Rule has profound geopolitical implications? It’s an idea that’s been rattling around my head for a while.

JWZ links to the question:

In Egypt earlier this year, the cops refused to attack the people. East Germany and then the whole Iron Curtain collapsed when the local cops wouldn’t smash heads when Erich Honecker ordered it. What about America? Where are the cops who walked off the job rather than attack their neighbors drowning in debt and despair?

Daniel Davies provides the answer:

And so that brings me to a useful piece of advice for any readers who are aspiring dictators, one that the Communists knew, Suharto knew, but that some modern day tyrants seem to have forgotten. There is always a level of civil unrest that outstrips the capability of even the most loyal and largest regular armed forces to deal with. In all likelihood, as a medium sized emerging market, you will have a capital city with a population of about five or six million, meaning potentially as many as three million adults on the streets in the worst case. Your total active-duty armed forces are unlikely to be a tenth of that. When it becomes a numbers game, there is only one thing that can save you.

And that is, a reactionary citizens’ militia, to combat the revolutionary citizens’ militia. Former socialist republics always used to be fond of buses full of coal miners from way out the back of beyond, but the Iranian basijis are the same sort of thing. Basically, what you need is a large population who are a few rungs up from the bottom of society, who aren’t interested in freedom and who hate young people. In other words, arseholes. Arseholes, considered as a strategic entity, have the one useful characteristic that is the only useful characteristic in the context of an Egyptian-style popular uprising – there are f—ing millions of them.

This is my advice to any aspiring dictator; early on in your career, identify and inventory all the self-pitying, bullying shitheads your country has to offer. Anyone with a grievance, a beer belly and enough strength to swing a pickaxe handle will do. You don’t need to bother with military training or discipline because they’re hopefully never going to be used as a proper military force – just concentrate on nurturing their sense that they, despite appearances, are the backbone of the country, and allowing them to understand that although rules are rules, there are some people who just need a slap. The bigger and burlier the better, but when the time comes they’ll be fighting in groups against people weaker than themselves, often under cover of darkness, so numbers are more important than anything else. The extractive industries are indeed often a good source, as are demobbed veterans (Zimbabwe) or the laity of an established religion.

I think this is my new rule for assessing the stability of any dictatorship around the world, and I am on the lookout for any Francis Fukuyama-style book contracts. The key factor in determining the survival of repressive regimes isn’t economics, religion or military success. It’s arseholes.

If you’ve been reading the news lately, this may sound familiar. It’s that sentence near the end there – “The bigger and burlier the better, but when the time comes they’ll be fighting in groups against people weaker than themselves, often under cover of darkness, so numbers are more important than anything else” – that makes it so horribly prescient.

November 15, 2011

Windows Phone: Done (Update! Incorrect!)

Filed under: business,digital,fail,future,interfaces,losers,vendetta — mhoye @ 3:30 pm


“We are driving Windows down to the phone with Windows 8“, says Steve Ballmer, inadvertently strangling the entire WP7 ecosystem in its cradle as he telegraphs to Windows Phone 7 developers that anything they build will be dead-end technology by fall 2012. (update: see below…)

Were I in that situation (and I’m in one that’s surprisingly similar) the next obvious question will be, if the Windows 8 ecosystem is all HTML5, why don’t we just build a webapp?

Why not, why not indeed.

Microsoft needs some new leadership just so badly. They’re really not much good at anything they weren’t good at before he took over, and the world’s kind of changed since then.

I love the fact that Google search for ‘windows phone 7 silverlight’ gives you as its first result. Yeah, it’s like that.

Ho ho! A very rapid update: Ballmer was misquoted, as evidenced by this sound bite. “We’ve got broad Windows initiatives, driving Windows down to the phone. With Windows 8, you’ll see incredible new form factors, powered by Windows, from tablets – small, large, pens – smaller, bigger, room-sized displays. We are in an era in which the range of smart devices is just continuing to expand.”

While I don’t think that my opinion has changed, unfortunately, I’m still going to leave this up, for ownership’s sake, and maybe to remind me on the perils of blogging too hastily.

November 14, 2011

Mimes: Disturbingly Prescient

Filed under: digital,doom,future,interfaces,lunacy — mhoye @ 10:52 am

Seen this thing about interaction design that’s been making the rounds? You should, it’s pretty neat.

It just occurred to me that if all our interactions with technology eventually involve smooth translucent glass surfaces, then the standard Mime trapped-in-a-glass-box routine goes from being something cute and kind of silly to being a profound, terrifying metaphor for our impending technological disempowerment.

Eventually, we will all be trapped in this smooth glass box, the are saying. Or the would be saying that, but they don’t.

Or can’t. Ominous.

(dun dun dunnnn…)

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