Failure Modes Of Novel Terminology

Somehow this has sat in my drafts folder for almost a year.

At some point late in his second year, in that magical time when toilet training can be kind of touch and go but barreling around the house with no clothes on is the best thing ever, my son wanted to help me fix something in the garage. I told him he’d have to fix his nakedness first; my daughter heard that and being the mischief elves they are, “fixing your naked” immediately became the household term for getting dressed.

So there’s that.

A few weeks later he busted into the washroom just as I’m out of the shower, and because not giving the tiniest damn about the most basic of social niceties is a thing you do a lot when you’re two, pointed and loudly proclaiming “You naked!”

“Well, I’m wearing a towel. But I’m going to get dressed now”.

“You’re going to fix your naked?”

“Yes, I’m going to fix my naked.”

He thought about that for a second, then with a very concerned look said “you broke your naked?

There is a surprising amount of unpleasantness you’ll need to endure with dignity as a parent, and I’m not going to tell you how to live, but take my advice when I say: whatever you do, try not to break your naked.

One Comment

  1. Posted September 17, 2015 at 11:34 am | Permalink

    New, this fall on AMC: Breaking Naked