Category Archives: a/b

Vocoder Duet

You can think of them as the Fry and Laurie of malevolent synthetic intelligences that are going to murder you. In a fortuitous coincidence, this video – a collection of communications from SHODAN, antagonist of the classic System Shock 2, and this video, of GlaDOS‘ spoken dialogue from the first Portal, … are both about […]

Citation Needed

I may revisit this later. Consider this a late draft. I’m calling this done. “Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.” — Stan Kelly-Bootle Sometimes somebody says something to me, like a whisper of a hint of an echo of something half-forgotten, and […]

Narrative Paralysis

Yesterday on the subway I watched a man write “KEY INSIGHTS” at the top of a page in his Moleskine, and then just stare at the page unmoving for the next six stops. He hadn’t budged when I stepped off to switch trains; I have to admit that as the minutes ticked by, I struggled […]

Flip All The Pronouns

Maya and I have been playing through Windwaker together; she likes sailing, scary birds and remembering to be brave, rescuing her little brother and finding out what’s happening to Medli and her dragon boat. She’s the hero of the story, of course. It’s annoying and awkward, to put it mildly, having to do gender-translation on […]

Bear Baiting (updated…)

You may have heard that the FunnyJunk website – no link, but it’s your typically garish stolen-content-to-sell-ads web-hovel – have tried to extort one of the people they stole stuff from, to the tune of about $20k. The Tubes Were Displeased: “I really did not expect that he would marshal an army of people who […]

On The Perpetual Threat Of Regressive Nonsense In Children’s Literature

We took Arthur’s Science Fair Trouble out of the library for Maya the other day, and let me tell you: I had always suspected that most of what adults tell you is bullshit, but children’s books live at some horrible Venn overlap of Moore and Sturgeon’s respective Laws where 90% of everything is not only […]

“I ain’t in this for your revolution and I’m not in it for you, Princess.”

It’s an old joke, with that wonderful undercurrent of bigoted misogyny that so many old jokes have: some creepy old dude propositions young woman by asking if she’d sleep with him for a million dollars, which she concedes she would. He follows that up asking if she’d sleep with him for a nickel; she replies, […]

Finished (Updated…)

UPDATE: Scroll down. But they’re still finished, make no mistake about that. I’ve mentioned in the past that RIM’s fundamental problem is that they’ve been shipping the same goddamn device, over and over again, since at least 2004. But check this out: on the heels of Blackberry’s recent announcements of collapsing financials and a management […]

The Tale Of The Tape

Kevin Gildea is hard to google. He’s an English professor in the Ottawa area, part-time (from what I can tell) at both Ottawa U and Carleton. When I was in his class a decade ago, he never gave you the sense of being self-aggrandizing enough to have a web presence, much less the fan base […]

Ferris’ Wheel (Updated)

16:11 < colleague> if they do a sequel I so dearly hope ben stein and charlie sheen aren’t invited 16:11 < mhoye> “… Drugs?” 16:11 < mhoye> I think they have to be. 16:14 < second_colleague> why no ben stein? 16:14 < other_colleague> cause he’s gone INSANE 16:16  * mhoye thinks they should swap roles. […]