Category Archives: doom

A Glass Half Broken

A friend of mine has called me a glass-half-broken kind of guy. My increasingly venerable Nokia N9 has been getting squirrelly for a few months, and since it finally decided its battery was getting on in years it was time for a new phone. I’m going to miss it a lot. The hardware was just […]

Crypto Is Not A Panacea

I was going to write this to an internal mailing list, following this week’s PRISM excitement, but I’ve decided to put it here instead. It was written (and cribbed from other stuff I’ve written elsewhere) in response to an argument that encrypting everything would somehow solve a scary-sounding though imprecisely-specified problem, a claim you may […]

How Does Anyone Work In These Conditions

A little while ago, the espresso machine in our office broke down. This doomsday scenario is, and I say this without the least bit of hyperbole, the most catastrophically dire situation that can exist in this or any other possible universe. If the intertubes felt slow for you the last few weeks, that’s probably why. […]

Besides The Photo And The Memory

After explaining the death of a neighbor’s cat to Maya, every conversation we have can now get incredibly heavy without the least bit of advance warning. “Dad, I want eggs for breakfast.” “Ok, Maya, how do you ask for things?” “Please can I have eggs for breakfast please?” “Sure. We can make scrambled eggs.” “Ok. […]

Genuflecting To Fools

Guys guys great news: it turns out that panicky superstitious people who deliberately misinterpret their shallow understanding of an incredibly narrow slice of a foreign culture they’re otherwise completely disinterested in aren’t reliable predictors of anything at all ever. Who saw that coming, right? I like to imagine that for months now somewhere in the […]

I Believe These Two Have Never Been Seen In The Same Room

And thus it came to pass that in the last moments of the end times, as the worshippers of the Ancient Ones gazed on His final ascension from the depths, that their minds were broken and spirits shattered in those last moments before they were consumed as great Cthulhu approached them, Gangnam style.

The Great Escape

A few months ago I made a joke about my friend’s daughter, whose previous role-modelling efforts can be seen here. But, hahahahaha, it looks like my concerns were totally unfounded! Claire didn’t need to be a part of that conversation at all. Maya asked Mom for her keys yesterday, claiming that she needed to get […]

Today, In Orbital Panopticon News

This is really astounding, though perhaps it shouldn’t be. The Department of Defence has given NASA a gift of two better-than-Hubble telescopes it built but never used, because despite this quote describing them… They have 2.4-meter (7.9 feet) mirrors, just like the Hubble. They also have an additional feature that the civilian space telescopes lack: […]

The Pre-emptive Machine-Vision Horror Trope Needs A Better Name

That’s a game called StarForge, a kind of minecrafty (but Notch-approved!) farm/build/survive game that looks pretty promising. Trading off the eight-bit charm of Minecraft for a lot of FPS aggro, it looks like a boots-on-the-ground, shovels-in-the-dirt revisiting of classics like Dune II or Command And Conquer. There’s a moment in there at about the thirty […]

“I ain’t in this for your revolution and I’m not in it for you, Princess.”

It’s an old joke, with that wonderful undercurrent of bigoted misogyny that so many old jokes have: some creepy old dude propositions young woman by asking if she’d sleep with him for a million dollars, which she concedes she would. He follows that up asking if she’d sleep with him for a nickel; she replies, […]