blarg?

January 8, 2019

Feature Request

Filed under: digital,documentation,fail,interfaces,linux,toys,vendetta,want — mhoye @ 9:50 am

If I’m already in a Linux, ideally a Debian-esque Linux, is there a way for me to say “turn this new external hard drive into a bootable Linux that’s functionally identical to this current machine”? One that doesn’t involve any of dd, downloading an ISO or rebooting? It’s hard to believe this is as difficult as it seems, or that this isn’t a standard tool yet, but if it is I sure can’t find it.

Every installer I’ve seen since the first time I tried the once-magical Knoppix has let you boot into a workable Linux on its own and install that Linux to the hard drive if you like, but I can’t a standalone tool that does the same from a running system.

What I’m after is a tool (I briefly wrote “ideally graphical”, but yeah. Let’s be real here.) that you point at a hard drive, that:

  • Formats this new hard drive in some rough approximation of what you’ve already got and making it bootable. (grub-whatever?)
  • Installs the same packages onto that drive as are on the host system, and
  • Optionally copies over account information required, /home/*, passwords, whatever else is in /etc or /opt; skip (or be smart about?) stuff like the hostname or iptables, maybe.

…and ends with a hard drive I can plug into another system, boot and log into as comfortably-preconfigured me.

debootstrap almost gets part of the way there, and you can sort of convince that or multistrap to do the job if you scrape out your current config, pour it into a config file and rsync over a bunch of other stuff. But then I’m back in roll-it-yourself-land where I started.

Ideally this apparently-hypothetical magic clone tool would be able to do this with minimal network traffic, too – it’s likely I’ve already got many or most of those packages cached, no? And alternatively, it’d also be nice to able to keep my setup largely intact while migrating across architectures.

I go looking for this every few years, even though it puts me briefly back on the “why would you ever do it like that? You should switch distros!” You Asked A Linux Question On The Internet Treadmill. But I haven’t found a decent answer yet beyond rolling my own.

Welp.

(Comments are off permanently. You’re welcome to mail me, though?)

December 16, 2018

Control Keys

Filed under: a/b,digital,documentation,fail,future,hate,interfaces,linux — mhoye @ 10:36 pm

I spend a lot of time thinking about keyboards, and I wish more people did.

I’ve got more than my share of computational idiosyncrasies, but the first thing I do with any computer I’m going to be using for any length of time is remap the capslock key to control (or command, if I find myself in the increasingly “what if Tattoine, but Candy Crush” OSX-land). I’ve made a number of arguments about why I do this over the years, but I think they’re mostly post-facto justifications. The real reason, if there is such a thing, is likely that the first computer I ever put my hands on was an Apple ][c. On the ][c keyboard “control” is left of “A” and capslock is off in a corner. I suspect that whatever arguments I’ve made since, the fact of it is that my muscle memory has been comfortably stuck in that groove ever since.

It’s more than just bizarre how difficult it is to reassign any key to anything these days; it’s weird and saddening, especially given how awful the standard keyboard layout is in almost every respect. Particularly if you want to carry your idiosyncrasies across operating systems, and if I’m anything about anything these days, it’s particular.

I’m not even mad about the letter layout – you do you, Dvorak weirdos – but that we give precious keycap real estate to antiquated arcana and pedestrian novelty at the expense of dozens of everyday interactions, and as far as I can tell we mostly don’t even notice it.

  • This laptop has dedicated keys to let me select, from levels zero to three, how brightly my keyboard is backlit. If I haven’t remapped control to caps I need to twist my wrist awkwardly to cut, copy or paste anything.
  • I’ve got two alt keys, but undo and redo are chords each half a keyboard away from each other. Redo might not exist, or the key sequence could be just about anything depending on the program; sometimes all you can do is either undo, or undo the undo?
  • On typical PC keyboards Pause/Break and Scroll Lock, vestigial remnants a serial protocol of ages past, both have premium real estate all to themselves. “Find” is a chord. Search-backwards may or may not be a thing that exists depending on the program, but getting there is an exercise. Scroll lock even gets a capslock-like LED some of the time; it’s that important!
  • The PrtScn key that once upon a time would dump the contents of your terminal to a line printer – and who doesn’t want that? – is now given over to screencaps, which… I guess? I’m kind of sympathetic to this one, I have to admit. Social network interoperability is such a laughable catastrophe that sharing pictures of text is basically the only thing that works, which should be one of this industry’s most shameful embarrassments but here we are. I guess this can stay.
  • My preferred tenkeyless keyboards have thankfully shed the NumLock key I can’t remember ever hitting on purpose, but it’s still a stock feature of OEM keyboards, and it might be the most baffling of the bunch. If I toggle NumLock I can… have the keys immediately to the left of the number pad, again? Sure, why not.
  • “Ins” –  insert – is a dedicated key for the “what if delete, but backwards and slowly” option that only exists at all because mainframes are the worst. Are there people who toggle this on purpose? Has anyone asked them if they’re OK? I can’t select a word, sentence or paragraph with a keystroke; control-A lets me either select everything or nothing.
  • Finally, SysRq – short for “System Request” – gets its own button too, and it almost always does nothing because the one thing it does when it works – “press here to talk directly to the hardware” – is a security disaster only slightly obscured by a usability disaster.

It’s sad and embarrassing how awkwardly inconsiderate and anti-human these things are, and the fact that a proper fix – a human-hand-shaped keyboard whose outputs you get to choose for yourself – costs about as much as a passable computer is appalling.

Anyway, here’s a list of how you remaps capslock to control on various popular OSes, in a roughly increasing order of lunacy:

  • OSX: Open keyboard settings and click a menu.
  • Linux: setxkboptions, I think. Maybe xmodmap? Def. something in an .*rc file somewhere though. Or maybe .profile? Does gnome-tweak-tool still work, or is it called ubuntu-tweak-tool or just tweak-tool now? This seriously used to be a checkbox, not some 22nd-century CS-archaeology doctoral thesis. What an embarrassment.
  • Windows: Make a .reg file full of magic hexadecimal numbers. You’ll have to figure out how on your own, because exactly none of that documentation is trustworthy. Import it as admin with regedit. Reboot probably? This is ok. This is fine.
  • iOS: Ive says that’s where the keys go so that’s where the keys go. Think of it as minimalism except for the number of choices you’re allowed to make. Learn to like it or get bent, pleb.
  • Android: Buy an app. Give it permission to access all your keystrokes, your location, your camera and maybe your heart rate. The world’s most profitable advertising company says that’s fine.

June 8, 2017

A Security Question

To my shame, I don’t have a certificate for my blog yet, but as I was flipping through some referer logs I realized that I don’t understand something about HTTPS.

I was looking into the fact that I sometimes – about 1% of the time – I see non-S HTTP referers from Twitter’s t.co URL shortener, which I assume means that somebody’s getting man-in-the-middled somehow, and there’s not much I can do about it. But then I realized the implications of my not having a cert.

My understanding of how this works, per RFC7231 is that:

A user agent MUST NOT send a Referer header field in an unsecured HTTP request if the referring page was received with a secure protocol.

Per the W3C as well:

Requests from TLS-protected clients to non- potentially trustworthy URLs, on the other hand, will contain no referrer information. A Referer HTTP header will not be sent.

So, if that’s true and I have no certificate on my site, then in theory I should never see any HTTPS entries in my referer logs? Right?

Except: I do. All the time, from every browser vendor, feed reader or type of device, and if my logs are full of this then I bet yours are too.

What am I not understanding here? It’s not possible, there is just no way for me to believe that it’s two thousand and seventeen and I’m the only person who’s ever noticed this. I have to be missing something.

What is it?

FAST UPDATE: My colleagues refer me to this piece of the puzzle I hadn’t been aware of, and Francois Marier’s longer post on the subject. Thanks, everyone! That explains it.

SECOND UPDATE: Well, it turns out it doesn’t completely explain it. Digging into the data and filtering out anything referred via Twitter, Google or Facebook, I’m left with two broad buckets. The first is is almost entirely made of feed readers; it turns out that most and maybe almost all feed aggregators do the wrong thing here. I’m going to have to look into that, because it’s possible I can solve this problem at the root.

The second is one really persistent person using Firefox 15. Who are you, guy? Why don’t you upgrade? Can I help? Email me if I can help.

April 7, 2017

Planet: Secure For Now

Filed under: digital,fail,interfaces,mozilla,work — mhoye @ 9:25 pm

Elevation

This is a followup to a followup – hopefully the last one for a while – about Planet. First of all, I apologize to the community for taking this long to resolve it. It turned out to have a lot more moving parts than were visible at first, and I didn’t know enough about the problem’s context to be able to solve it quickly. I owe a number of people an apology for that, first among them Ehsan who originally brought it to my attention.

The root cause of the problem was that HTTPlib2 in Python 2.x doesn’t – and apparently will never – support Server Name Indication, an important part of Transport Layer Security on shared hosts. This is probably not a big deal for anyone who doesn’t need to make legacy web-facing Python utilities interact securely with modernity, but… well. It me, as the kids say. Here we are.

For some context, our particular SSL problems manifested themselves with error messages like “Error urllib2 Python. SSL: TLSV1_ALERT_INTERNAL_ERROR ssl.c:590” behind the scenes and “internal error” in Planet proper, and I think it’s fair to feel like those messages are less than helpful. I also – no slight on my colleagues in this – don’t have a lot of say in the infrastructure Planet is running on, and it’s equally fair to say I’m not much of a programmer. Python feature-backporting is kind of a rodeo too, and I had a hard time mapping from “I’m using this version of Python on this OS” to “therefore, I have these tools available to me.” Ultimately this combination of OS constraints, library opacity and learning how (and if, where and when) SSL works (or doesn’t, and why) while working in the dated idioms of a language I only half-know didn’t add up to the smoothest experience.

I had a few options open to me, or at least I thought I did. Refactoring for Python 3.x was a non-starter, but I spent far more time than I should have trying to rewrite Planet to work directly with Requests. That turned out to be harder than I’d expected, largely because Planet code has a lot of expectations all over it about HTTPlib2 and how it behaves. I mistakenly thought re-engineering that behavior would be straightforward, and I definitely wasn’t expecting the surprising number of rusty edge cases I’d run into when my assumptions hit the real live web.

Partway through this exercise, in a curious set of coincidences, Mike Connor and I were talking about an old line – misquoted by John F. Kennedy as “Don’t ever take a fence down until you know the reason why it was put up” – by G. K. Chesterton, that went:

In the matter of reforming things, as distinct from deforming them, there is one plain and simple principle; a principle which will probably be called a paradox. There exists in such a case a certain institution or law; let us say, for the sake of simplicity, a fence or gate erected across a road. The more modern type of reformer goes gaily up to it and says, “I don’t see the use of this; let us clear it away.” To which the more intelligent type of reformer will do well to answer: “If you don’t see the use of it, I certainly won’t let you clear it away. Go away and think. Then, when you can come back and tell me that you do see the use of it, I may allow you to destroy it.”

Infrastructure

One nice thing about ancient software is that it builds up these fences; they look like cruft, like junk you should tear out and throw away, until you really, really understand that your code, and you, are being tested. That conversation reminded me of this blog post from Joel Spolsky, about The Worst Thing you can do with software, which smelled suspiciously like what I was right in the middle of doing.

There’s a subtle reason that programmers always want to throw away the code and start over. The reason is that they think the old code is a mess. And here is the interesting observation: they are probably wrong. The reason that they think the old code is a mess is because of a cardinal, fundamental law of programming:

It’s harder to read code than to write it.

This is why code reuse is so hard. This is why everybody on your team has a different function they like to use for splitting strings into arrays of strings. They write their own function because it’s easier and more fun than figuring out how the old function works.

As a corollary of this axiom, you can ask almost any programmer today about the code they are working on. “It’s a big hairy mess,” they will tell you. “I’d like nothing better than to throw it out and start over.”

Why is it a mess?

“Well,” they say, “look at this function. It is two pages long! None of this stuff belongs in there! I don’t know what half of these API calls are for.”

[…] I know, it’s just a simple function to display a window, but it has grown little hairs and stuff on it and nobody knows why. Well, I’ll tell you why: those are bug fixes. One of them fixes that bug that Nancy had when she tried to install the thing on a computer that didn’t have Internet Explorer. Another one fixes that bug that occurs in low memory conditions. Another one fixes that bug that occurred when the file is on a floppy disk and the user yanks out the disk in the middle. That LoadLibrary call is ugly but it makes the code work on old versions of Windows 95.

Each of these bugs took weeks of real-world usage before they were found. The programmer might have spent a couple of days reproducing the bug in the lab and fixing it. If it’s like a lot of bugs, the fix might be one line of code, or it might even be a couple of characters, but a lot of work and time went into those two characters.

When you throw away code and start from scratch, you are throwing away all that knowledge. All those collected bug fixes. Years of programming work.

The first one of these fences I hit was when I discovered that HTTPlib2.Response objects are (somehow) case-insensitive dictionaries because HTTP headers, per spec, are case-insensitive (though normal Python dictionaries very much not, even though examining Response objects with basic tools like “print” makes them look just like they’re a perfectly standard python dict(), nothing to see here move along. Which definitely has this kind of a vibe to it.) Another was hitting what might be a bug in Requests, where usually it gives you “200” as the HTTP “Everything’s Fine” response, which Python will happily and silently turn into the integer HTTPlib2 is expecting, but sometimes gives you “200 OK” which: kaboom.

On the bright side, I did get to spend a few minutes reminiscing fondly to myself about working with Dave Humphrey way back in the day; in hindsight he warned me about this kind of thing when we were working through a similar problem. “It’s the Web. You get whatever you get, whenever you get it, and you’ll like it.”

I was mulling over all of this earlier this week when I decided to take the best (and also worst, and also last) available option: I threw out everything I’d done up to that point and just started lying to the program until it did what I wanted.

This gist is the meat of that effort; the rest of it (swap out the HTTPlib2 calls for Requests and update your error handling) is straightforward, and running in production now. It boils down to taking a Requests object, giving it an imaginary friend, and then standing it on that imaginary friend’s shoulders, throwing a trenchcoat over it and telling it to act like a grownup. The content both calls returns is identical but the supplementary data – headers, response codes, etc – isn’t, so using this technique as a shim potentially makes Requests a drop-in replacement for HTTPlib2. On the off chance that you’re facing the same problems Planet was facing, I hope it’s useful to you.

Again, I apologize for the delay in sorting this out, and thank you for your patience.

July 24, 2015

“It Happens When They Don’t Change Anything.”

Filed under: digital,doom,fail,hate,losers,vendetta — mhoye @ 9:43 pm

“Glitch in the Matrix? No, just that amazing San Francisco workplace diversity in action.” – @jjbbllkk

“You take the blue pill — the story ends… You take the plaid pill — you stay in Silicon Valley.” – @anatolep

“… And I’ll show you just how high your rent can go.” – @mhoye

Hostage Situation

(This is an edited version of a rant that started life on Twitter. I may add some links later.)

Can we talk for a few minutes about the weird academic-integrity hostage situation going on in CS research right now?

We share a lot of data here at Mozilla. As much as we can – never PII, not active security bugs, but anyone can clone our repos or get a bugzilla account, follow our design and policy discussions, even watch people design and code live. We default to open, and close up only selectively and deliberately. And as part of my job, I have the enormous good fortune to periodically go to conferences where people have done research, sometimes their entire thesis, based on our data.

Yay, right?

Some of the papers I’ve seen promise results that would be huge for us. Predicting flaws in a patch prereview. Reducing testing overhead 80+% with a four-nines promise of no regressions and no loss of quality.

I’m excitable, I get that, but OMFG some of those numbers. 80 percent reductions of testing overhead! Let’s put aside the fact that we spend a gajillion dollars on the physical infrastructure itself, let’s only count our engineers’ and contributors’ time and happiness here. Even if you’re overoptimistic by a factor of five and it’s only a 20% savings we’d hire you tomorrow to build that for us. You can have a plane ticket to wherever you want to work and the best hardware money can buy and real engineering support to deploy something you’ve already mostly built and proven. You want a Mozilla shirt? We can get you that shirt! You like stickers? We have stickers! I’ll get you ALL THE FUCKING STICKERS JUST SHOW ME THE CODE.

I did mention that I’m excitable, I think.

But that’s all I ask. I go to these conferences and basically beg, please, actually show me the tools you’re using to get that result. Your result is amazing. Show me the code and the data.

But that never happens. The people I talk to say I don’t, I can’t, I’m not sure, but, if…

Because there’s all these strange incentives to hold that data and code hostage. You’re thinking, maybe I don’t need to hire you if you publish that code. If you don’t publish your code and data and I don’t have time to reverse-engineer six years of a smart kid’s life, I need to hire you for sure, right? And maybe you’re not proud of the code, maybe you know for sure that it’s ugly and awful and hacks piled up over hacks, maybe it’s just a big mess of shell scripts on your lab account. I get that, believe me; the day I write a piece of code I’m proud of before it ships will be a pretty good day.

But I have to see something. Because from our perspective, making a claim about software that doesn’t include the software you’re talking about is very close to worthless. You’re not reporting a scientific result at that point, however miraculous your result is; you’re making an unverifiable claim that your result exists.

And we look at that and say: what if you’ve got nothing? How can we know, without something we can audit and test? Of course, all the supporting research is paywalled PDFs with no concomitant code or data either, so by any metric that matters – and the only metric that matters here is “code I can run against data I can verify” – it doesn’t exist.

Those aren’t metrics that matter to you, though. What matters to you is either “getting a tenure-track position” or “getting hired to do work in your field”. And by and large the academic tenure track doesn’t care about open access, so you’re afraid that actually showing your work will actively hurt your likelihood of getting either of those jobs.

So here we are in this bizarro academic-research standoff, where I can’t work with you without your tipping your hand, and you can’t tip your hand for fear I won’t want to work with you. And so all of this work that could accomplish amazing things for a real company shipping real software that really matters to real people – five or six years of the best work you’ve ever done, probably – just sits on the shelf rotting away.

So I go to academic conferences and I beg people to publish their results and paper and data open access, because the world needs your work to matter. Because open access plus data/code as a minimum standard isn’t just important to the fundamental principles of repeatable experimental science, the integrity of your field, and your career. It’s important because if you want your work to matter to people, then you’d better put it somewhere that people can see it and use it and thank you for it and maybe even improve on it.

You did this as an undergrad. You insist on this from your undergrads, for exactly the same reasons I’m asking you to do the same: understanding, integrity and plain old better results. And it’s a few clicks and a GitHub account for you to do the same now. But I need you to do it one last time.

Full marks here isn’t “a job” or “tenure”. Your shot at those will be no worse, though I know you can’t see it from where you’re standing. But they’re still only a strong B. An A is doing something that matters, an accomplishment that changes the world for the better.

And if you want full marks, show your work.

October 29, 2014

Go Home Yosemite You Are Drunk

Filed under: fail,hate,interfaces,lunacy,toys,work — mhoye @ 1:28 pm

anglachel:proj mhoye$ svn --version
svn, version 1.7.17 (r1591372)
compiled Aug 7 2014, 17:03:25

anglachel:proj mhoye$ which svn
/opt/local/bin/svn

anglachel:proj mhoye$ /opt/local/bin/svn --version
svn, version 1.8.10 (r1615264)
compiled Oct 29 2014, 14:11:15 on x86_64-apple-darwin14.0.0

anglachel:proj mhoye$ which -a svn
/opt/local/bin/svn
/usr/bin/svn

anglachel:proj mhoye$ /usr/bin/svn --version
svn, version 1.7.17 (r1591372)
compiled Aug 7 2014, 17:03:25

anglachel:proj mhoye$

How are you silently disrespecting path ordering, what is this even.

October 3, 2014

Rogue Cryptocurrency Bootstrapping Robots

Cuban Shoreline

I tried to explain to my daughter why I’d had a strange day.

“Why was it strange?”

“Well… There’s a thing called a cryptocurrency. ‘Currency’ is another word for money; a cryptocurrency is a special kind of money that’s made out of math instead of paper or metal.”

That got me a look. Money that’s made out of made out of math, right.

“… and one of the things we found today was somebody trying to make a new cryptocurrency. Now, do you know why money is worth anything? It’s a coin or a paper with some ink on it – what makes it ‘money’?”

“… I don’t know.”

“The only answer we have is that it’s money if enough people think it is. If enough people think it’s real, it becomes real. But making people believe in a new kind of money isn’t easy, so what this guy did was kind of clever. He decided to give people little pieces of his cryptocurrency for making contributions to different software projects. So if you added a patch to one of the projects he follows, he’d give you a few of these math coins he’d made up.”

“Um.”

“Right. Kind of weird. And then whoever he is, he wrote a program to do that automatically. It’s like a little robot – every time you change one of these programs, you get a couple of math coins. But the problem is that we update a lot of those programs with our robots, too. Our scripts run, our robots, and then his robots try to give our robots some of his pretend money.”

“…”

“So that’s why my day was weird. Because we found somebody else’s programs trying to give our programs made-up money, in the hope that this made-up money would someday become real.”

“Oh.”

“What did you to today?”

“I painted different animals and gave them names.”

“What kind of names?”

“French names like zaval.”

“Cheval. Was it a good day?”

“Yeah, I like painting.”

“Good, good.”

(Charlie Stross warned us about this. It’s William Gibson’s future, but we still need to clean up after it.)

May 18, 2014

Optics

Filed under: awesome,fail,interfaces,toys,weird — mhoye @ 1:25 pm

Well, we have to get back to making jokes at some point. I bought some glasses from the internet.

I bought new glasses from the internet.

It didn’t go exactly as I’d hoped.

November 8, 2013

A Glass Half Broken

Filed under: digital,documentation,doom,fail,hate,interfaces,losers,toys,vendetta — mhoye @ 3:46 pm

horse-castle

A friend of mine has called me a glass-half-broken kind of guy.

My increasingly venerable Nokia N9 has been getting squirrelly for a few months, and since it finally decided its battery was getting on in years it was time for a new phone.

I’m going to miss it a lot. The hardware was just a hair too slow, the browser was just a hair too old and even though email was crisp and as well done as I’ve ever seen it on a small screen, Twitter – despite being the one piece of software that periodically got updates, strangely – was always off in the weeds. Despite all that, despite the storied history of managerial incompetence and market failure in that software stack, they got so many things right. A beautiful, solid UI, an elegant gesture system that you could work reliably one-handed and a device whose curved shape informed your interaction with the software in a meaningful way. Like WebOS before it, it had a consistent and elegantly-executed interaction model full of beautiful ideas and surprisingly human touches that have pretty much all died on the vine.

Some friends have been proposing a hedge-fund model where they follow my twitter feed, scrape it for any piece of technology I express interest in and then short that company’s stock immediately and mercilessly. The reasoning being, of course, that I tend to back underdogs and generally underdogs are called that because of their unfortunate tendency to not win.

So now I own a Nexus 5; do with that information what you will. The experience has not been uniformly positive.

Android, the joke goes, is technical debt that’s figured out how to call 911, and with KitKat it seems like somebody has finally sent help. For a while now Android has been struggling to overcome its early… well, “design process” seems like too strong a term, but some sort of UI-buglist spin-the-bottle thing that seemed to amount to “how can I ignore anyone with any sort of design expertise, aesthetic sensibility or even just matching socks and get this bug off my desk.” KitKat is clearly the point we all saw coming, where Android has pivoted away from being a half-assed OS to start being a whole-assed Google-services portal, and it really shows.

Look: I know I’m a jagged, rusty edge case. I know. But this is what happened next.

As you open the box, you find a protective plastic sheet over the device that says “NEXUS 5” in a faint grey on black. If you don’t peel it off before pushing the power button, the Google logo appears, slightly offset and obscured behind it. It’s not a big thing; it’s trivial but ugly. If either word had been a few millimetres higher or lower it would have been a nice touch. As shipped it’s an empty-net miss, a small but ominous hint that maybe nobody was really in charge of the details.

I signed in with my Google Apps account and the phone started restoring my old apps from other Android installs. This is one of the things Google has done right for a long time; once you see it you immediately think it should have worked that way everywhere the whole time. But I didn’t realize that it restored the earlier version of the software you had on file, not the current one; most of my restored pre-KitKat apps crashed on startup, and it took me a while to understand why.

Once I’d figured that out and refreshed a few of them manually, set up my work email and decided to see if Google Goggles was neat as it was last time I looked. Goggles immediately crashed the camera service, and I couldn’t figure out how make the camera work again in any app without power-cycling the phone.

So I restart the phone, poked around at Hangouts a bit; seems nice enough and works mostly OK, could use some judicious copy-editing in the setup phase to sound a little less panopticon-stalkerish. (But we’re all affluent white men here it’s no big deal, right? Who doesn’t mind being super-easy to find all the time?)

I went to make dinner then, and presumably that’s when the phone started heating up.

Eventually I noticed that I’d lost about a quarter of my battery life over the course of an almost-idle hour, with the battery monitor showing that the mail I’d received exactly none of was the culprit. From what I can tell the Exchange-connection service is just completely, aggressively broken; it looks like if you set up the stock mail client for Exchange and pick “push” it immediately goes insane, checking for mail hundreds of times per second and trying to melt itself, and that’s exciting. But even if you dial it back to only check manually, after a while it just… stops working. A reboot doesn’t fix it, I’ve had to delete and recreate the account to make it work again. Even figuring out how to do that isn’t as easy as it should be; I’ve done it twice so far, one day in. So I guess it’s IMAP and I’ll figure calendars out some other way. We use Zimbra at the office, not Exchange proper, and their doc on connecting to Android hasn’t been updated in two years so that’s a thing. I’m totally fine in this corner, really. Cozy. I can warm my hands on my new phone.

I’ve been using my Bespoke I/O Google Apps accounts before Google doubled down on this grasping, awful “G+ Or GTFO” policy, and disabling G+ in Apps years ago has turned my first-touch experience with this phone into a weird technical tug-of-war-in-a-minefield exercise. On the one hand, it’s consistently protected me from Google’s ongoing “by glancing at this checkbox in passing you’re totally saying you want a Google+ account” mendacity, but it also means that lots of things on the phone fail in strange and wonderful ways. The different reactions of the various Play $X apps is remarkable. “Play Games” tells me I need to sign up for a G+ account and won’t let me proceed without one, Play Movies and Music seem to work for on-device content, and Play Magazines just loses its mind and starts into a decent imitation of a strobe light.

I went looking for alternative software, but The Play Store reminds me a lot more of Nokia’s Ovi Store than the App Store juggernaut in a lot of unfortunate ways. There are a handful of high-profile apps there work fast and well if you can find them. I miss Tweetbot and a handful of other iOS apps a lot, and keep going back to my iPod Touch for it. In what I’m sure is a common sentiment Tweetbot for Android is looking pretty unlikely at this point, probably because – like the Ovi Store – there’s a hundred low-rent knockoffs of the iOS app you actually want availabl, but developing for Android is a nightmare on stilts and you make no money so anything worth buying isn’t for sale there.

It’s really a very nice piece of hardware. Fast, crisp, big beautiful screen. Firefox with Adblock Plus is way, way better than anything else in that space – go team – and for that on its own I could have overlooked a lot. But this is how my first day with this phone went, and a glass that’s half-broken isn’t one I’m super happy I decided to keep drinking from.

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