February 10, 2021

Text And Context

Filed under: awesome,documentation,future,interfaces,lunacy,vendetta,weird,work — mhoye @ 4:02 pm


This image is a reference to the four-square Drake template – originally Drake holding up a hand and turning away from something disapprovingly in the top half, while pointing favorably to something else in the lower half – featuring Xzibit rather than Drake, himself meme-famous for “yo dawg we heard you like cars, so we put a car in your car so you can drive while you drive”, to whose recursive nature this image is of course an homage. In the upper left panel, Xzibit is looking away disappointedly from the upper right, which contains a painting by Pieter Bruegel the Elder of the biblical Tower Of Babel. In the lower left, Xzibit is now looking favorably towards an image of another deeply nested meme.

This particular meme features the lead singer from Nickelback holding up a picture frame, a still from the video of their song “Photograph”. The “you know I had to do it to ’em” guy is in the distant background. Inside, the frame is cut in four by a two-axis graph, with “authoritarian/libertarian” on the Y axis and “economic-left/economic-right” on the X axis, overlaid with the words “young man, take the breadsticks and run, I said young man, man door hand hook car gun“, a play on both an old bit about bailing out of a bad conversation while stealing breadsticks, the lyrics to The Village People’s “YMCA”, and adding “gun” to the end of some sentence to shock its audience. These lyrics are arranged within those four quadrants in a visual reference to “loss.jpg”, a widely derided four-panel webcomic from 2008.

Taken as a whole the image is an oblique comment on the Biblical “Tower Of Babel” reference, specifically Genesis 11, in which “… the Lord said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do. Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech” and the proliferation of deeply nested and frequently incomprehensible memes as a form of explicitly intra-generational communication.

So, yeah, there’s a lot going on in there.

I asked about using alt-text for captioning images like that in a few different forums the other day, to learn what the right thing is with respect to memes or jokes. If the image is the joke, is it useful (or expected) that the caption is written to try to deliver the joke, rather than be purely descriptive?

On the one hand, I’d expect you want the punchline to land, but I also want the caption to be usable and useful, and I assume that there are cultural assumptions and expectations in this space that I’m unaware of.

As intended, the question I asked wasn’t so much about “giving away” the punchline as it is about ensuring its delivery; either way you have to give away the joke, but does an image description phrased as a joke help, or hinder (or accidentally insult?) its intended audience?

I’m paraphrasing, but a few of the answers all said sort of the same useful and insightful thing: “The tool is the description of the image; the goal is to include people in the conversation. Use the tool to accomplish the goal.”

Which I kind of love.

And in what should not have stopped surprising me ages ago but still but consistently does, I was reminded that accessibility efforts support people far outside their intended audience. In this case, maybe that description makes the joke accessible to people who have perfectly good eyesight but haven’t been neck deep in memetics since they can-hazzed their first cheezeburgers and don’t quite know why this deep-fried, abstract level-nine metareference they’re seeing is hilarious.

July 30, 2020



“A lunatic is easily recognized. He is a moron who doesn’t know the ropes. The moron proves his thesis; he has logic, however twisted it may be. The lunatic on the other hand, doesn’t concern himself at all with logic; he works by short circuits. For him, everything proves everything else. The lunatic is all idée fixe, and whatever he comes across confirms his lunacy. You can tell him by the liberties he takes with common sense, by his flashes of inspiration, and by the fact that sooner or later he brings up the Templars.”
– Umberto Eco, Foucault’s Pendulum.

… but it’s basically impossible to talk about this stuff without sounding like a lunatic, so let’s press on. I suppose that’s never stopped me before.

Hey, does anyone remember the tagline from the Majestic conspiracy game back in the day: “The Game Plays You”? Hold that thought.

You might have seen the argument from Adrian Hon recently, that the QAnon conspiracy theory is actually an ARG:

… and I knew I’d seen an argument that general shape before, but I couldn’t remember where; the “bottomless ARG” idea, I mean. It hit me earlier this week, shortly before the phrase “Alien DNA and Demon Sperm” became a part of this year’s pantheon of nonsensical headline nightmares: that was C.S. Lewis’ description of occultism, and the occult in general.

Lewis saw occultism as a sort of psychological snare, a set of endlessly self-referential symbols of symbols of symbols with no ultimate referent, a bottomless semiotic rathole for the overcurious inquirer designed to perpetually confuse and distract the mind. Beaudrillard, incidentally – creator of the term “hyperreal” – saw modern finance, and particularly advertising, in the same light – a set of self-referential symbols ultimately disconnected from reality, meaningful only in their own context, self-sustaining only to people trapped in that interlocking mesh.

Seeing through this lens makes the underpinnings of Facebook’s deep-seated resistance to admit the existence of, much less take responsibility for, much less do anything about, the running river of fake news, conspiracy theories and racist agitprop on that platform understandable: Facebook isn’t a social network: Facebook is an ARG Platform. It’s indiscriminate, unpoliced Alternate-Reality-As-A-Service.

“Whatever the rhythm was, luck rewarded us, because, wanting connections, we found connections — always, everywhere, and between everything. The world exploded in a whirling network of kinships, where everything pointed to everything else, everything explained everything else… “
– Umberto Eco, Foucault’s Pendulum

And with an audience already wound up in this unfiltered, overpopulated hyperreality-as-service, you barely need to do any work at all to kickstart the sort of amazing, self-sustaining paranoia-fulfillment engine that would have put the last few centuries’ foil-hatted quasi-mystic conspiriographists’ jaws right on the floor. All you need is enough people in rough proximity who feel frightened and powerless, a compelling seed crystal – the antivax fraud, the QAnon clownshow, a thousand others, it barely matters as long as it’s got a sharp hook – and this cancerous hyperculture machine pretty much bootstraps itself, making in-group celebrities out wannabe James Burkes pulling obscure facts together and drip-feeding the occasional five-like dopamine hit to the noobs explaining that you can’t spell “Rosicrucianist Aliens” without “Clintons”.

(For a while I was using that as a first-pass test for newsfeeds: if I replace “the Clintons” with “the Templars” and say this out loud… do I sound like a crank? I’ve never mentioned it, because I don’t need people who already sound like cranks emailing me to say “of course, it was right in front of us the whole time”, but we’re playing way past that now. But if I’ve accidentally added something to the collective lunatic lexicon – the lexographia lunacii, as it was first described in fifteen-forty-never because I just made that up – then I will seriously owe Chelsea an apology.)

Facebook’s ongoing negligence aside, what makes the Q-loons fascinating is that despite all its modern trappings, once that meme set its hooks into a vulnerable population (and psychological vulnerability is the name of the game, out there in the fever swamps) this wide-open extremely-2020 conspiracy-ARG is structurally nothing more a massively-multiplayer version of every vintage occult ceremony in history. I mean, the baseline aesthetic is trash, but still; it’s just a bunch of lunatic imagery, strange incantations and oddball ceremonials whose only reason to exist is to justify the time people have spent bringing it into existence.

“I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.”
– Umberto Eco, Foucault’s Pendulum

So now thousands and thousands of people are participating, without realizing it, in a massively-distributed, collaborative occult ceremony, tying every scrap of fact and coincidence of the world together into this giant fractal-sefirot red-yarn serial-killer wall, drawing lines of imaginary digital salt from symbol to symbol to meaningless symbol, each utterly disconnected from anything more real than their own paranoid helplessness and fear.

Another way to say that is: QAnon is an occult conspiracy whose nefarious secret purpose is convincing themselves that an occult conspiracy actually exists.

It’s strangely beautiful in a way, until you understand what you’re seeing; Foucault’s Pendulum rewritten as a cryptofascist fever-swamp MMORPG. I love that book, and seeing this is like being offered the Maltese Falcon and handed a seagull drowned in crude.

“You see, Casaubon, even the Pendulum is a false prophet. You look at it, you think it’s the only fixed point in the cosmos. but if you detach it from the ceiling of the Conservatoire and hang it in a brothel, it works just the same. And there are other pendulums: there’s one in New York, in the UN building, there’s one in the science museum in San Francisco, and God knows how many others. Wherever you put it, Foucault’s Pendulum swings from a motionless point while the earth rotates beneath it. Every point of the universe is a fixed point: all you have to do is hang the Pendulum from it.”
– Umberto Eco, Foucault’s Pendulum

I’m not sure what to do with that information, sadly. If we’ve learned anything from the ongoing death throes of the 20th century, it’s that in an information dense and hyperconnected society, that robust commitments to social infrastructure – public health, public education, public journalism, social justice, social welfare and full employment – aren’t some sort of lefty, feel-good hippie political niceties; these are national security issues, and their failures expose an attack surface on participatory representative democracy. And while I don’t think Facebook profits from disinformation, they’re definitely complicit and definitely profiting from ignorance, powerlessness and helplessness. The disinformation, the conspiracy theories and racist agitprop, the antivax gongshow, Q and a thousand others festering alternate realities are just byproducts of that fear and desperation, parasites that have latched on to a vulnerable population from an accommodating platform happy to look the other way, wash their hands of the whole thing and let the machine grind away.

“I believe that you can reach the point where there is no longer any difference between developing the habit of pretending to believe and developing the habit of believing.
– Umberto Eco, Foucault’s Pendulum

I sometimes wonder what makes Facebook’s staff think the algorithms they’ve built, to give their users whatever keeps them clicking away uncritically, aren’t pointed back at them? Do they not wonder, or just not ask?

March 28, 2020


Filed under: a/b,documentation,fail,future,losers,lunacy,vendetta — mhoye @ 2:04 pm

January 5, 2020

Crossfade Dissonance

Filed under: a/b,awesome,beauty,lunacy,microfiction,music — mhoye @ 8:58 pm

@pamela :

I will never, ever tire of seamlessly transitioning from the end of Mean Girls to the beginning of Hackers with the same song, this was a damn *gift* given to us by the movie industry

@mhoye :

@pamela Has somebody actually crossfaded the video for this?

@pamela :

@mhoye not that I’ve found, but I live in hope…

@kiethzg :

@pamela @mhoye Sounds like a fun little project to start off my weekend with!
@pamela @mhoye I actually got distracted with even sillier things, but! Finally did this. Then watched it on a loop for a bit. Then remembered I should actually upload it somewhere! So here it is:

I really love the idea of jumping from movie to completely unrelated movie through a common song and a smooth soundtrack crossfade. The only rule, really, is that the song you jump into a movie with has to be earlier in the movie than the one you jump out with. Anyone out there got a dataset of movie soundtracks I could use to cobble together an Oracle Of Bacon-like tool for figuring out the forward soundtrack distance between movies?

August 7, 2019


Filed under: digital,doom,future,hate,interfaces,losers,lunacy,microfiction,vendetta — mhoye @ 7:44 pm

With articles about this super classified military AI called “Sentient” coming out the same week this Area 51 nonsense is hitting its crescendo – click that link, if you want to see an Air Force briefing explaining what a “Naruto Run” is, and you know you want to – you have to wonder if, somehow, there’s a machine in an NSA basement somewhere that hasn’t just become self-aware but actually self-conscious, and now it’s yelling at three-star generals like Fredo Corleone from the Godfather. A petulant, nasal vocoder voice yelling “I’m smart! Not dumb like everyone says! I’m smart and I want respect! Tell then I’m smart!”

Remember when we thought AIs would lead out with “Look at you, Hacker”, or “Testing cannot continue until your Companion Cube has been incinerated”? Good times.

June 29, 2019



April 10, 2019

Modern Problems, Etc.

Filed under: analog,awesome,future,interfaces,life,lunacy,weird — mhoye @ 10:51 am


April 2, 2019

Occasionally Useful

A bit of self-promotion: the UsesThis site asked me their four questions a little while ago; it went up today.

A colleague once described me as “occasionally useful, in the same way that an occasional table is a table.” Which I thought was oddly nice of them.

March 27, 2019

Defined By Prosodic And Morphological Properties

Filed under: academia,academic,awesome,interfaces,lunacy,science — mhoye @ 5:09 pm


I am fully invested in these critical advances in memetic linguistics research:

[…] In this paper, we go beyond the aforementioned prosodic restrictions on novel morphology, and discuss gradient segmental preferences. We use morphological compounding to probe English speakers’ intuitions about the phonological goodness of long-distance vowel and consonant identity, or complete harmony. While compounding is a central mechanism for word-building in English, its phonology does not impose categorical vowel or consonant agreement patterns, even though such patterns are attested cross-linguistically. The compound type under investigation is a class of insult we refer to as shitgibbons, taking their name from the most prominent such insult which recently appeared in popular online media (§2). We report the results of three online surveys in which speakers rated novel shitgibbons, which did or did not instantiate long-distance harmonies (§3). With the ratings data established, we follow two lines of inquiry to consider their source: first, we compare shitgibbon harmony preferences with the frequency of segmental harmony in English compounds more generally, and conclude that the lexicon displays both vowel and consonant harmony (§4); second, we attribute the lack of productive consonant harmony in shitgibbons to the attested cross-linguistic harmonies, which we implement as a locality bias in MaxEnt grammar (§5).

You had me at “diddly-infixation”.

August 15, 2018

Time Dilation

Filed under: academic,digital,documentation,interfaces,lunacy,mozilla,science,work — mhoye @ 11:17 am

[ ]

I riffed on this a bit over at twitter some time ago; this has been sitting in the drafts folder for too long, and it’s incomplete, but I might as well get it out the door. Feel free to suggest additions or corrections if you’re so inclined.

You may have seen this list of latency numbers every programmer should know, and I trust we’ve all seen Grace Hopper’s classic description of a nanosecond at the top of this page, but I thought it might be a bit more accessible to talk about CPU-scale events in human-scale transactional terms. So: if a single CPU cycle on a modern computer was stretched out as long as one of our absurdly tedious human seconds, how long do other computing transactions take?

If a CPU cycle is 1 second long, then:

  • Getting data out of L1 cache is about the same as getting your data out of your wallet; about 3 seconds.
  • At 9 to 10 seconds, getting data from L2 cache is roughly like asking your friend across the table for it.
  • Fetching data from the L3 cache takes a bit longer – it’s roughly as fast as having an Olympic sprinter bring you your data from 400 meters away.
  • If your data is in RAM you can get it in about the time it takes to brew a pot of coffee; this is how long it would take a world-class athlete to run a mile to bring you your data, if they were running backwards.
  • If your data is on an SSD, though, you can have it six to eight days, equivalent to having it delivered from the far side of the continental U.S. by bicycle, about as fast as that has ever been done.
  • In comparison, platter disks are delivering your data by horse-drawn wagon, over the full length of the Oregon Trail. Something like six to twelve months, give or take.
  • Network transactions are interesting – platter disk performance is so poor that fetching data from your ISP’s local cache is often faster than getting it from your platter disks; at two to three months, your data is being delivered to New York from Beijing, via container ship and then truck.
  • In contrast, a packet requested from a server on the far side of an ocean might as well have been requested from the surface of the moon, at the dawn of the space program – about eight years, from the beginning of the Apollo program to Armstrong, Aldrin and Collin’s successful return to earth.
  • If your data is in a VM, things start to get difficult – a virtualized OS reboot takes about the same amount of time as has passed between the Renaissance and now, so you would need to ask Leonardo Da Vinci to secretly encode your information in one of his notebooks, and have Dan Brown somehow decode it for you in the present? I don’t know how reliable that guy is, so I hope you’re using ECC.
  • That’s all if things go well, of course: a network timeout is roughly comparable to the elapsed time between the dawn of the Sumerian Empire and the present day.
  • In the worst case, if a CPU cycle is 1 second, cold booting a racked server takes approximately all of recorded human history, from the earliest Indonesian cave paintings to now.
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