August 9, 2004

Ahmad Chalabi, who you might recall occupying some prime State Of The Union seating in this picture, has been charged with counterfeiting by the Iraqi government.

Replying to those allegations, he said:

“I do not know who is doing this and why. They are not patriots. I have done my duty and helped liberate Iraq,” he told Reuters from Iran, where he was on holiday. “I will return in a few days. I can easily prove that these charges are untrue and I intend to defend myself and clear my name.”

From Iran, where he was on holiday? Not the Iran of “Axis Of Evil” fame. That Iran?

Awesome. If I could just shake the image of scorched, pockmarked adobe and sandy streets stained black with drying blood, I wouldn’t be able to stop laughing. Apropos of absolutely nothing, here’s a few quotes from some historic texts.

“We see, then, how vain the faith and promises of men who are exiles from their own country. As to their faith, we have to bear in mind that, whenever they can return to their own country by other means than your assistance, they will abandon you and look to the other means,
regardless of their promises to you. And as to their vain hopes and promises, such is their extreme desire to return to their homes that they naturally believe many things that are not true, and add many others on purpose; so that, with what they really believe and what they say they believe, they will fill you with hopes to that degree that if you attempt to act upon them you will incur a fruitless expense, or engage in an undertaking that will involve you in ruin. […] A prince therefore should be slow in undertaking any enterprise upon the representations of exiles, for he will generally gain nothing by it but shame and serious injury.”

– Machiavelli, The Discourses.

“All warfare is based on deception.”

– Sun Tzu, The Art Of War

And last, but not least,

“I will not outsource core functions.”

– Evil Overlord List #179.