Keep On Truckin', Youtubes

March 16, 2009

Globe Terrestre
Do I need another reason to feel smug? I should think no, and yet they accrete before me. Know that I bear this weight nobly, and without complaint. Atlas Smirked, that’s me.
You know what they say about YouTube commenters, right? Well, funny story; remember how late last year I put up that one video I took of buskers and banjos, and called it the Hoedown Throwdown?
Somewhat earlier, I assume, the Walt Disney Corporation decided (again) that the right thing for them to invest their effort in was another prepackaged starlet, so they tarted up one more anonymous milquetoast ingenue and dropped her into the front end of the Disney Machine. They’ve got the process pretty much down by now, so presumably there’s a plant somewhere in Burbank where they drop these teenagers into a chute at one end and two albums, one movie plus soundtrack, fifty thousand vaguely recognizable plastic dolls and a disshevelled 23-year-old chain smoker with a greasy ex and a nagging drug habit are belched out the other end and quickly forgotten.
In this case though one of the songs in the movie misappropriated (or possibly outright swiped, who knows?) the title from my own infinitely superior video, and Google has seen me right; I’ve still got the top result. And now all the people searching for Hannah-Montana-flavored pablum are finding my video and not… well, it seems inaccurate to call it “hers”.
But let me tell you: when people who set out to look for Disney’s little girls on YouTube don’t find them, my goodness, they get exactly the kind of upset you’d expect. I They squat little nuggets of joy into my inbox every day or two now, and it invariably lifts my spirits.

pateaditi8 (1 week ago)
what the hell were you thinking

iLuVWiLlIaMLeVy (1 week ago)
what the fuck is that

xxbunnylover23xx (1 week ago)
looks good and all but not the video I was looking for.\

yunah101 (1 week ago)
wut the hell its nuthin like the hoedown throwdown

Chickofmanywonders (6 days ago)
that was REALLY annoying

LeXiroCKs1 (3 days ago)

not hoedown throwdown

It doesn’t surprise me at all that there’s a certain kind of somebody in the world looking for a musical experience as polished, inoffensive and white as a urinal bowl who’d get very upset to come across a couple of black kids getting down to real, live country music just for the sheer unadulterated hell of it, finishing off to a round of applause no less. But I’m glad that this thing that’s upset them is my fault.
Don’t ever change, internets. I love you so.